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Dan much less happy about me working


nancyl

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5 years ago Dan and I both ran our butts off working - here there everywhere - saving to be ready to help kids out , fix up the farm, put away for retirement… we respected each others values about work. I am happy to be back to work it is a source of pride for me, even though in the end i make no real money… I do it for me, my self esteem.

Dan however, is just not a happy camper - what a crab yesterday … he pouted a good part of the day - not talking , and - get out- at one point he indicated to me…

These changes so good for me are so hard for him…. I feel conflicted. I will continue to work , my goal is to become efficient at this job to the point i am only needed a couple hours a day… there are duties to catch up which will take me some time - but - once i can accomplish that , then i can see - the ability for the job to become less consuming…

I had a friend who ran for election of the position of mayor - sadly she lost, had a good run at it though… and my friend Mrs. North Dakota came back from her mentor trip in FL. and will start a rigorous exercise program to prepare for the Mrs. America contest…

My hand the only part that got actual road rash is healing finally, got a scab over it so it is less sensitive…

mostly the situation with Dan is bugging me - it has some potential to grow into a much bigger problem, truing to manage him and his moods and stay balanced and normal - is my goal….

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Hello Nancy, please do not pack up work, and do not let what is happening get out of hand with you and Dan. After my stroke, I was mad at my husband because he could go out, drive and I could not! I was never a selfish person, so me feeling like that was strange to me! As I got better, strated going on the free bus that took me to the adult center, where I made new friends, I saw that this was my "new normal". Also my husband make sure I haded my daughter around, with the grand kids, he take me out but he needed a break, I see that now.

 

Nancy, you are a great caregiver, and you need a break, you make sure Dan is okay and you go, he will be alright. Us stroke surviors go back to acting like Kids, and we be fine. The saying is "Once an adult twice a child"

 

Yvonne

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Nancy: I am always amazed, even at this point in Stroke Recovery, at how little Bruce thinks of me at all. When I walk him through the process, he says "I know." Now that is response to everything, so he really doesn't know or care, he just wants me to be quiet - LOL. I do find, however, as time goes on, when I say to him "now, I have done all this for you today, what are you going to do for you today, to give me some time off? And I have to say it is finally working at times. I do this mostly on the weekends for some Sunday afternoon time for me.

 

Keep at it. You have a good game plan with some goals in mind. And good help at home for Dan's safety and some help for you. It is like anything stroke, takes a long time and stick to the routine. Remember to eat and get your exercise in with Tag - safely, LOL.

 

It may never be balanced. Dan is going to have his good and bad days. Only hope is the good finally outnumber the bad. Know I am in your corner and prayers. Debbie

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Dan has gotten used to you being home not working so he is in the middle where he used to get all your attention and care all day and night... Now I imagine some times you get home tired out and not much energy left to satisfy him or his needs if you know what I mean?!!

 

My wife tells me middle of the week her energy level is low and she still has to make choir practice and Praise dance practice at church so I know then no sex for us!!!! She loves working as Supervisor at the bank and working with people and money so much so that she comes home feet hurting and body dragging!!

 

With you back working you will experience some of those real tired days or nights and Dan is saying to himself, wait a minute where is his time to be with you???

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