Thank you everyone for the belated birthday wishes! On June 1st I went to the altar at church and asked for prayer over fear anxiety and negative thoughts that I will end up paranoid schizophrenic like my mom. As we were praying, the lady holding my hand and praying with me prayed that the Lord would open my withered hand (like Jesus did for the man in the Bible). She told me to start practicing opening my weak hand.

After that day I did e-stim a few times but I need new electrodes because the old ones are hardly sticky and my hand was opening some but my wrist was completely bent. So I decided to just exercise. I heard that if you do something for 21 days, it becomes a habit. So for the last 21 days I have done a few of my exercises from OT. I was doing exercises from PT also but when I took a break for a few days, I caught a bad cramp in the back of my left leg so I decided PT wasnt as important! The exercises I do are only 4 but they all stretch and move my arm. I have also been falling asleep every night with my splint on. I always wake up and take it off but Im glad I can at least fall asleep with it on now. Im hoping I can make it through the night soon without taking it off.

Sometimes when I wake up and its not on my arm I will try to wear it during the day for 6-8 hours since thats the equivalent of me sleeping. I dont know why I can wear it all day when Im sitting here doing nothing but cant seem to leave it on while Im sleeping.

I seen my therapist last week. She's actually moving to another clinic so when we meet this Thursday we will be discussing whether I want to stay at that clinic and start over with a new therapist or follow her and pay the copay to see her since she doesn't take medicaid. I already know I cant afford the copay and talking to her for 30 minutes sometimes does more harm than good since I have to remember all the attacks but there's nothing she can do to stop them. I had 6 last week but I am still just praying and trying to get on with my life. They are so random and nothing triggers them so I really do believe its the increase in keppra since anxiety can be a side effect. Now I just have to decide if I want to try going back to my old dosage of keppra when I was seizure free AND panic attack free but struggled with the depression