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i got some help


CagedBird

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Thank you so much for the comments that were left on my last entry. I dont even remember what I said in that entry. All I remember was I wanted to die and I was tired of trying everything and not getting better. I knew the increase in my keppra plus experiencing the seizures were causing anxiety and psychogenic seizures but I just got so fed up with the anxiety and psychogenic seizures that I went back to my old dose of keppra about a month ago with hopes that the depression/mood changes would not come back as a side effect.

 

Unfortunately I began dealing with depression on top of the anxiety which was exactly what I was hoping wouldn't happen. I was so sick last Monday, I called my dad and he took me to the emergency room. I was pretty much on 24/7 suicide watch for about 3 days until I could talk to a doctor, then I was moved to an actual behavioral health center. We did group activities and I met some very nice people in there for different reasons. My dad visited everyday and I just got out today and am back at his house until I feel okay enough to go back to my apartment.

 

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and panic disorder with agoraphobia. I am now taking prozac and my clonapin was increased again. My psychiatrist also told me stop getting in bed so early. At my apartment I would be so tired of having a bad/boring/stressful day, I would shower and get in bed at sometimes 6:00 in the evening then not get up until around 9am when I took my medicine so my psychiatrist (from the sleep center) said I will sleep better if I don't spend so much time in bed before I go to sleep (which I already knew).

 

My therapist while I was there made a referral for me to be in a program that will pick me up and take me places I need/want to go. I also want to try to do some volunteering until I feel stable enough to work. I don't really want to go into detail about how I feel and my crazy experience this past week so Im just going to leave it at that.

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I'm glad you got some help Katrina, you have been having a battle with depression for a while now and this is hopefully the end of that.  If you can find some more meaningful things to do.  Can you find some volunteer work that you could be picked up for?  That would mean you can go even when you don't feel able to drive.

 

I think a routine that includes time out of your apartment and hopefully some interest for you would be an idea, Getting some exercise into your day, some good food, some fresh air  to be a part of your daily routine too . I know if I want to stay home too much that is a warning sign for me too that all is not well.

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Hello Katrina, doing some volunteer work would certain help.  I went and helped out at an Alzheimer walk and felt so good inside.   Getting out of your apartment would be great and meeting people  always cheer's us up. 

 

I keep you  in my prayers

 

God bless 

 

Yvonne

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I am soooooo glad things are better Katrina but sad you had to hit bottom to get things resolved. Always remember that you are not alone in your feelings and that we are all here pulling for you. The brain is a crazy place. Sometimes it helps to remember that it is a 'brain thing' and not a 'Katrina thing'. Volunteering sounds very proactive and it always helps to focus on others. It's kind of like taking a vacation away from all your problems and doing for others warms your heart and theirs. A win/win situation. Please keep sharing and stay strong. We love you.

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Dear Katrina, I just have to comment. I know I'm a newbie but our situations are a lot alike.  I agree with Sue and Yvonne that doing something outside of the house would be helpfun like Volunteering at anyplace...ummm, like the Library or the Food Bank.  Somewhere where theres a lot of people.  Something I've found of great benifit is to Window Shop at a Mall.  Having all those ppl around is helpful even if I don't interact with any of them.  Of course having my father or mother or someone close is always nice too.  I have had gran mal seizures as well and know how devistating they can be.  Also I have iEED, what is known as pathological laughing and crying (mostly crying) and while it has decreased over the past 44 years it never the less is devistating when it happens.  Of corse, keep coming back to Stroke net for it is one of the best social systems availible now.  Life is too sacred of a thing to waste. Take care.  Ed

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