Thank you all for your support. It means a lot to me and I read every comment. I stayed at my dad's house for a few days. I could only sleep for like a few hours at a time. It was kind of frustrating but I was determined not to take any pills to help me sleep. After being on the clonazepam for almost 2 years and the depakote for almost 6 months, it's quit an adjustment. I am so used to getting in bed at 9 or 10:00 and falling straight asleep.

When I came back to my apartment Thursday, it was even worse. I did not sleep at all Thursday night and I maybe slept for 30 minutes Friday morning after the sun came up. Last night/this morning was the worst. I didn't expect things to get worse because I was feeling better, praying, and trying to just be thankful. I had so much faith, I listened to my pastor, I prayed all night and believed with faith. I was not afraid to pray to God.

Unfortunately I only slept for about 2 hours. I tried to go back asleep when the sun came out and I got 2 more hours of sleep but when I woke up, I was laying on my kitchen floor confused. I had soiled my pants and they were laying on the floor next to my trash can which was knocked over and broken. Luckily I was able to get up and walk back to my room to call my dad. When my dad got here we discovered, I'd soiled my pants all the way from my room, down the hall, through the living room, to the kitchen. Im guessing I thought I was in the bathroom. I can't remember anything except having the seizure in my bed.

I did so good at forgiving myself for my behavior on Sunday and renewing my faith instead of just staying in a funk this week. I am trying so hard to just remain thankful and not give up. I just dont understand why I had those seizures when I was doing so well and I really dont want to get back on the extra medications again.