i dont understand
I had another seizure in my sleep on June 1st. I'd had an awesome day. I stayed busy, exercised, read books, tutored. I don't know why I had the seizure. I woke up at 4am on the bathroom floor with my pants off once again. My bath rugs were all jumbled up and my covers were at the foot of my bed. Its almost like I got out of bed to go to the bathroom then had a seizure. I don't know. I bit my tongue really bad. I'd done so much last weekend I really thought things were looking up for me. Unfortunately that seizure zapped my joy. Im afraid of driving, afraid to start working now, afraid of being alone in my apartment. I haven't laid on my left side all week because it reminds me of the seizure. I try not to think about it but when I do, I just want to die.
I had signed up to join a lot of ministries at my church but now I just don't know. I don't want to commit to anything then not be able to drive there, not feel like going, or be here at my dad's house and not have a ride. I wish my life wasnt so complicated. I know life isnt always going to be happy all the time. I just dont understand why Im always attacked by illness which seems to affect every other facet of my life.
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