What's happening?
I don't know what is happening to me, well I think it might be this hormone thing or lack thereof from the surgery. I know, I talk about it a lot. But I can't stop crying tonight. Not even for a second. It's happening as I write this now. I haven't had thoughts of not caring if I die or not in a very long time. It's 70 degrees in my house and I'm sweating, listless and crying. What the hell is going on?????????? My heart started palpating or something earlier and I didn't even care. Normally I would have at least pushed my chest to get it to beat normal again, but I didn't care if I died right then or not. Then felt guilty because I need to be here for my husband.
I"m sure I'll be sorry I wrote this tomorrow, but don't know what else to do. I feel numb, sad, so sad, hopeless, like there is no purpose for my life and oh my God how pathetic. It's like I can't see, I can't see anything.
I think maybe time to take a handful of valium and pass out till my doctor appointment tomorrow. Thank God the appt. is finally here.
Sorry you have to read this crap, but I guess I need to get it out.
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