Dan is doing good in the nursing home, he does his best to "guilt me." the look of disappointment when I say it is time for me to get going. I usually spend my lunch hour with him and then come back and spend some time with him. We watch wheel of fortune , the news and whatever old sitcom that comes on. usually i spend about 1.5 hours in the evening. And it is hard to differentiate both worlds. Plain out hard. But necessary.
My survival depends on keeping both worlds apart. Blending them is confusing to both of us. I went to my house last night , just to see if the worlds slowest construction man has made any progress. The construction guy is doing quality work. But SSSLLLOOOWWW- Slow. Anyhow, the neighbors come riding up on their new trike motorcycle. We chatted a few moments . And they said how about a palm breeze it is a popular new beer drink. And we sat on their porch and chatted for about a hour. It was so nice. A real luxury just to have the freedom to just sit with the neighbors.
The people i sold the house to are weird. but hey, it means i can dislike my neighbors which makes me not like the house for an entirely different reason. Am i looking for a reason? you bettcha !!..lol
The kids disappoint me in that going and seeing dan the few times they do. It is a chore i am sure, but i hate being the only one. If i am the only one... then I am the ONLY one. So the moon sets on me coming and going. that is to much for anybody. But the newfound freedom even for a brief time is good.
Dan hasn't had health issues in a very long time. With the exception of constipation.but lord get out of bed and move. But he won't. So my stays are frequent but short in duration. I hope his time isn't long in terms of "time" like a prisioner. A person pass the time slowly or quicker . Many times with no knowledge. That is what is wish for for Dan... I hope the brain damage makes the time go fast, in between his outings and my visits.. Please do not interpret what say incorrectly. It is hard to explain in words.
I continue to do better.. not perfect ,but better. The spinning has stopped but sadnes remains. And of course that comes with every tragedy. and everybody. luckily i had people who helped me out of the pit of dispare. Jus not sure when exactly i fell in there in the first place. 4 years ago a year ago or 6 months ago? In the end it doesn't matter...
Not a lot to blog about except to check in and say... it can get better. One day , hour, minute, second, it can get better.
So life is ticking along in that slow but fast way. I am glad dan is in the nursing home. it is where he needs to be.