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Depression is...


Punch1021

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A BIG ole Mother Chugger. Like many of you I have depression and it's a real BEAST. Has anyone else ever felt your depression like any other disease? It's like you are sitting there and have that feeling it's like wow, freaking depression is back again. My doctor asked me if I wanted to see someone about it, I told her no, I see enough doctors already. Not sure if I can fit another one in! I am trying to "get rid" of some of my doctor's. No such luck. One doctors turns into another. At least for this week I have a break from them but I should have seen my primary this week. I am anxiously waiting for all of my blood test to come back to see if I have Lupus. My ANA was negative this time but I do not see the other blood test for Lupus. Not sure if that is a good sign or not. Why release some of your blood test, but not all? Then for my health summary the doctor or rather the intern I met that was helping my primary put Lupus on my health summary. Umm, why are you putting that up there when I haven't' been diagnosed yet. If I don't have it why is it up there? Can I just go home and cry now?

 

Since the seasons are about to change, I am having a hard time dealing with it. I am not a huge Fall person. It gets cold and it gets darker earlier. But, my birthday is in the Fall, football is in the Fall. I usually travel to warm destinations in the Fall. With all that I should be happy! I am but then that sneaky depression creeps in. I try to stay positive and be active but I don't want to let go of that good feeling. Going to sleep seems like that feeling will end. After my strokes, I just stay up at night fighting sleep. I don't remember doing this before my strokes. I am usually a night person, but I go to sleep so I can go to work. If I stay up it's on the weekends and I don't have to get up early. Now it's hmm almost 12am, I am tired, I need to fall asleep. Yet, even though I am tired, I don't fall asleep. When I do sleep I am still tired. At some point I need to fit in that sleep test. But I just hate feeling sad and lost right now. I just need a huge positive health turn around right now.

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So sorry you are having a blue day.You have so many worries at the moment so that doesn't help.  Hope you can find something to lift your spirits.Sit in the sun for a while if you can, that always helps me.

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Punch :

 

after my stroke I dealt with depression & I felt depression worst than my stroke. are you taking any antidepressants. I initially resisted them, but taking them helped me big time, it allowed me to look at the sunshine beyond clouds. though I feel along with those meds having routine, exercise & reading good spiritual books all help me deal with my post stroke life . I was able to wean myself off antidepressant pills as soon as I found little bit control on my life. I found blogging chatting with other survivors all very therapeutic for my soul. hope to see you around often too.

 

Asha

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I am not on any antidepressant pills at the moment.  I am on so many other pills and not sure about taking another one yet.  Me an medicine are not great friends right now.  I was on Paxil as a teenager so I am not opposed to taking it, just weary of drugs. Paxil gave me a nervous tick that I wish I could take time off from work to get through my depression now and try to take care of me, but my job will not pay me for not being here.  I think I have to rethink my idea of buying lots of scratch off tickets.  I try to come here as much as possible and blog but if work or life gets too busy I don't sign on.  Then when I do come here it's late at night when I should be asleep. But I am trying to find some happier things to keep me going, it's just hard with my health issues at this moment. 

 

Punch :

 

after my stroke I dealt with depression & I felt depression worst than my stroke. are you taking any antidepressants. I initially resisted them, but taking them helped me big time, it allowed me to look at the sunshine beyond clouds. though I feel along with those meds having routine, exercise & reading good spiritual books all help me deal with my post stroke life . I was able to wean myself off antidepressant pills as soon as I found little bit control on my life. I found blogging chatting with other survivors all very therapeutic for my soul. hope to see you around often too.

 

Asha

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Punch, just know you are in my Prayers. After my stroke I was so depressed. I sit in my bedroom and just have "bad thoughs". My daughter got me to the doctor, and I did take meds even I did not want to. They helped, and  i started to believe that they was life after a stroke.

Slowly, I began looking   forward, not backwards. I understand that you don't like fall. but try and get out. Nature, and fresh air is good for the soul. I started walking, baby steps, slow but steady.  I also join chat room, that help talking to people who knew what I was going through. Also reading about what others were going through helped me reading about others forgetting about I was going through.  I stopped calling friends and family, some need to be off the list, but some are cool people and were please to hear from me.  

 

I wish you all the best

 

Yvonne

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