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My Brother is At Peace



Last Monday my brother passed away. He is no longer in any pain. I was able to see him the Friday before that. He was on a ventilator and his eyes were covered but I was able to tell him I loved him. My mom told me to call his name and I did. He responded to me. She wanted me to do it over and over again but he only responded once. I had to tell her he is not going to keep responding. I played some of his favorite music and stayed with him when they took him off of the ventilator. My parents had left and it was just us. When the ventilator was taken out he did farely well breathing on his own. He did have oxygen to help him. He opened his eyes a little but they weren't focused on anything. If we were to say keep him alive my brother would have been bed bound. Unable to speak. Unable to do anything. As much as it hurt we let Bobby go. He was moved to a special floor once he was stable. Had he kept on living he would have been sent to a hospice facility but Bobby went home. He truly is a free spirit now.


Saturday was his funeral. Some of his classmates could not believe he had died. I still can't believe it. They called him a legend and marveled at how strong he was. My brother played football like my dad. Both have some uncanny strength. No one dared to mess with my brother but he didn't use that to bully or hurt people. He was a gentle giant who had a big heart.


Now that the funeral is over its just me and my parents with a ton of food. I will be home with them for a week,then it's back to DC. I really don't want to go back. I feel so alone there. Things haven't felt the same since my ex left with my boy in April. I don't think I will ever see him again. I just want to lay in my room at my parents home. I can't take any more heartache. I felt as if I was making great progress this year. Now I am thinking about what's next.


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So sorry for your loss.  I have followed your blog about your brother all the way through and really feel so sad for you and your family.  Sometimes life is so hard.  If you can, stay with your parents for a while as it will help you all to be together and share your grief.  There will be time to make plans in the future but for now just rest and recover from the journey you have shared.

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Sorry for what you've all been thru.    I hope you can start healing now, and I know your brother is at peace.   I agree with Sue, if nothing is calling you to get back, stay there awhile and get stronger.

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Punch :


so sorry for your loss. I too agree with Sue you should stay with your parents bit longer & help each other in dealing with grief. you can think of moving close to your parents & start new chapter in your life, if you can find new job near your parents you can think of that. having support of family & friends one can always build new life.



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Thanks everyone,


I have been thinking a lot about staying with my parents but I am so unsure. I was getting my life back together in DC but these punches in my life hurt. I also have an upcoming surgery that I still need to schedule. I started seeing a therapist before my brother got sick so I will talk to her to help me. I will go back to DC for a couple of weeks but will return home for family reunion on the 4th of July. My two weeks in DC will either help or make me more confused about what to do.

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