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struggling with letting it go question


HostAsha

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I love blogging or journal  my internal thoughts & struggles. when I write down my thoughts its weight lifted off my chest & given to universe   to take care of it for me. lately I wonder & struggle to let go of my adult son's choices & decisions in life. In my head I justify saying oh I don't want him to stumble in life or make any mistakes in life. I think that's not a good idea & that can push him away from me, and it is more selfish on my part, that I still want to feel validated and matter by giving him constant advice when its not even asked lol. so learning to let go of your child who you like to protect, how do you achieve that is the question I have been wondering, how did you dealt with this question in your own life

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Asha I have just had my grandson Christopher here for four days. He saved up his student money to fly up from Melbourne. I said something to him and he said: "Grandma I'm an adult now." Point taken, he is 23 and doing a Masters in Biomedical Technology. But he is still my grandson and I thought I was guiding him but it was inappropriate. So back off Grandma. 

 

So it is just little things you say to guide rather than giving them a full on lecture. And laugh and joke and talk about the past and remind yourself that you need to back off to remain friends. And trust they will remember that coming home is about enjoying family not lectures about behaviour.

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Asha, too much advice feels like nagging and judgment to the receiver, especially if they have not asked for advice, you can easily push them away by doing this. You need to have faith in them and your parenting, if you’ve done your job right they will have good grounding and knowledge to make their choices. And remember what is right for them is not always what you would like or choose for yourself. Trust them to be their own best self, and make sure that they know you will always be there to help if/when things don’t work out as they hoped or planned.

 

The old adage is true in this case “if you love something let it go, if it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was”

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