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stroke survivorthoughts

Entries in this blog

unexamined life is not worth living

I love the above line "unexamined life worth not living", since my stroke I have done lot of that & my life has become richer due to it. I follow Jean riva mentor I met right here on this site & thanks to her wisdom & blogs it provided me courage  & strength to still give good fight & boy I am so glad I persisted. Recently in Jean's blog she quoted bernard shaw & it is spot on “This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty o

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

I am enjoying this new version of me

As I am getting old & going through my own life experiences which makes me go AHA & integrating some of the techniques in my life makes me also feel so happy. after reconnecting with my childhood friend after 30 years  & finding out she recently became widow, made me realize that having different interests in life & doing certain things alone is also healthy & good & much better in big scheme of things. Following on that enlightenment I decided to start my first paint by

struggling with letting it go question

I love blogging or journal  my internal thoughts & struggles. when I write down my thoughts its weight lifted off my chest & given to universe   to take care of it for me. lately I wonder & struggle to let go of my adult son's choices & decisions in life. In my head I justify saying oh I don't want him to stumble in life or make any mistakes in life. I think that's not a good idea & that can push him away from me, and it is more selfish on my part, that I still want to feel v

realized something important & dont want to loose this growth of thoughts

I just realized something very big & want to write down so that I never forget this lesson in my life. I have been married for 30 plus years & I still feel sometimes hubby & I we both are two very different personality, he is introvert& me extrovert, he talks less & I talk a lot, he does not like to watch TV or movies & I enjoy them, I always feel more happy if we do things together versus he can spend time alone & still be happy. So after 30 years I have started doin

great AHA moment for me

some of you who know me well through my blogs or by interacting with me in person will know I like to read nonfiction spiritual books,self help books. my hubby is my sounding board for lot of these discussion about life in general. after reading all these holy books  from different religions, I finally understood some important things about life. I strongly feel choices we make in life creates our destiny & those choices we make are based on two things, one is genetic & second is how our

lot has happened in life time to catch up

lot has been going on in my life, some good, some not so good, but we still making progress & moving forward. will start with not so good news, recently my 81 year old mom after her back surgery suffered stroke which left her paralyzed on her left side, though luckily being in rehab she got TPA & other treatment right away so her stroke was not as bad as mine, but due to her age & her existing precondition of her body her recovery was not as swift as mine which made her hugely depres

testing if blogs are working

good to see blogs are back, though when they were out started writing blogs on my personal computer since I always found blogging was very therapeutic for my soul.  recently we are going through big health crisis for our mom who duffered stroke too after back surgery, doctors are saying it was due to covid , though by grace of God she is out of that angry phase & working hard on her recovery, so we are hanging tight for each other & her.

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

mindful meditation

I have heard great deal about mindful meditation, but just like everybody I never had time to do it, but recently I have forced myself every weekend to do just 10 mins of guided mindful meditation &  then do my floor exercises.  & I have stuck to that habit for this year so far.  recently have been reading book on self compassion & then recently came across this great lecture on youtube on infinite peace a meditator's guide to mind and consciousnes. It was so good  learnt few techniq

Another good technique learnt today in my life's journey today though it will be harder to follow it

I am spiritual being having this human experience. & I like to read, watch & learn from this thinkers who have spread their knowledge through religious books or spiritual books. I love reading, watching & listening & learning from this books. Today heard good line from our hindu bhagvad geeta book where God tells his disciple who was struggling with tough questions in his life. God tells him  that start looking at every event in your life without labeling it as good or bad &

Happy New year

Happy New year every one. I am not into making new years resolutions though I like making  one word resolution for a new year, but I have never done any, I am always go with flow person & incorporate  any good  thing I like in my day, recently I have started doing guided 10 minutes  meditation on weekend along with my floor exercises, now I have added doing rosary two times a day  in the morning & night, it re-centers me & makes me happy starting day on a positive note.  I am realizi

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

We are back home from our wonderful trip to India

We are back home now & getting acclaimed to US again. we visited India for 4 weeks this time. Hubby's eldest brother passed away in his sleep in August of this year, so hubby wanted to visit India when this covid gives us some break, so as soon we got our booster shot, we decided to visit India our family  & village-home our brother in law bought & renovated for us. the visit was awesome, hubby loves his village & I love it too, in village people are not in any rush & things

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

going with flow

I from time to time look back on my life's journey & realizing one of the best quality of myself  which is going with flow & have lot of fun in all situations. I do get upset when something does not go according to plan, like my stroke or breakup with girlfriends in college, I have realized after struggling for few days or months based on the crisis I am in, for example stroke crisis took me 9 months to get out of that despair mode & find my even keel to be able to go with the flow.

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

man's search of a meaning by victor Frankel

right after my stroke I struggled with depression & I depended heavily on spiritual books & biography of inspirational people, they gave me strength to go on, when I could not find any in my own, that time I read victor frankl's mans search of a meaning & it resonated fully with me, I needed purpose bigger than myself to  give good fight to stroke & that I found in my 7 year old son. some of the quotes of victor frankl which resonated with me I am noting it here so that I can als

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

we are back home from our amazing vacation

We are back home happy & safe, this year we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. I am usually vacation planner at our home, I wanted to go to Greece, but due to covid uncertainties hubby's suggestion was we should go somewhere in USA only.  one of our earlier vacation we took in USA is California with our son who was still baby & was in car seat  & in diapers, we had drove from sanfranscisco to Arizona covering all national parks,17 mile drive in Monterey Bay & had so much fu

I keep on coming back & marveling at my own life & amazed by how it has shaped up my life with my own choices

I do believe wholeheartedly choices we make in our life creates our destiny, I know that for fact. I have made some great choices in life & some not great, that's why I am happy with wherever I am today in my life. I feel all those experiences were needed for me to become the person I am today. Some choices I made out of my own stubbornness to prove it to parent(Mom) I am no less in my brilliance just because I am girl & should be provided equal or more opportunities because I am capable

I feel blessed that I married such a secure & confident guy who is always enabler

like I said before recently reconnected with old friend who used to proclaim that he loved me, but was so insecure that minute I got into Engineering  due to my good grades & he did not, he stopped the teasing & chase, I guess he realized I was in different league now. So I very nicely finished my undergraduate degree in Engineering & after I finished my degree parents found guy who was more educated than me   & was here in USA pursuing his graduate degree, hubby met my brother &

how doing simple things increases your self confidence & make you feel good

I am avid reader & love reading self help & inspiring books. those books make me realize accidentally or out of self preservation I have been doing right things  which normal people will think its common sense thing, but for me those were fought hard & bumped into brick wall & then learnt lessons kind of a deal which helped me immensely in rebuilding my new normal again. like I had said earlier  recently after reconnecting with my childhood friend I started paying attention to my

science of well being

I have signed up for this free course on coursera for science of well being, taught by Yale professor & it is required class for Yale students.  It is great course, I wish it will be required course for all kids & human beings to learn how our brain works. I feel after my stroke when I was very unhappy with my life, slowly & steadily with trial & errors I found great books, support group  & found my happy place again, & while doing this course & my life experiences, I

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

I feel so blessed and realizing God has been alongside me & carrying me through my life in good times & in bad times

recently I connected with my childhood friend  in India on facebook & that inadvertently brought in friend who was relentlessly teasing me & professing love for me in those teenage young years in India . I ended up just talking with the guy  at that time to make him stop that endless teasing,  luckily as soon I went into engineering school, he realized  & gave up the chase. So  I nicely finished my Engineering college with peace & married the guy my parents chose for me. Now fast

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

Happy New year & glad to be still here after suffering another stroke

Happy New year every one. 2020 is finally over & 2021 is here, & I realized our son is my guardian angel who saved my life multiple times.   First time when he was born he was such a big baby & way too comfortable inside, sot they had to induce me so that our prince will be born  but he started to show sign of discomfort so doctors had decided to do c-section, and he was born at 9-1/2 lb & 22 inch long baby, so I ended up in the hospital for 5 days on bed rest  & ev

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

feel so grateful this thanksgiving

I feel so grateful to be still around in 2020 after going through some dark curve-ball of stroke in 2004, and still be around to enjoy the life with complete new outlook on life. In 2020 I feel grateful to see all my friends and family safe and sound even though my sister & brother in law got covid but they recovered fully grateful on my birthday hubby & I took day off & visited green lake state park in NY , which turned out to be fun & beautiful day trip grateful 

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

inspiring words by Eleanor Roosevelt

Right after my stroke when I was deep in dumps of despair I  found strength in inspiring people like FDR who even being disabled got country out of deep depression & started so many great projects in America, funded & created national parks, social security  & even made bank accounts FDIC so that common people don't loose their hard earned money.  I was amazed & inspired by Eleanor Roosevelt who was close confidant & his partner in all senses. Recently I read one of her quote

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts

God is so kind to us & I feel so grateful

Things are not finalized yet but its moving into right direction, so I have to share my joy.  hubby  has spent his first few years of his life in village in India with his family & is very fond of his native place, & even after moving to city in India his family has connection with village which has our very powerful community God we all believe in  & his whole family & extended family will gather their once a year for special prayer ceremony. Usually now in village there are mos

HostAsha

HostAsha in my personal thoughts