venting....not for pure minds
I haven't been around to post in a while and the first thing I do when I come back is going to be a major vent session.
Today I am so f....ing sad and *beep* off about my husband having a stroke and yes, I'm still grieving after 2 years, 5 months and 29 days. Like someone or "someone's" said before.... STROKE SUCKS. I hate that mf er. It's done all but destroy our lives and it's so hard sometimes being the one to always "bring things out in him". I'm tired of it, I'm tired of it and I want to run again.
And some on the other side of the fence want to tell me how long I can grieve for my husband I have loved with all my heart for 25 years and now is missing as a whole. Well I want to scream F. you and your theories. Not at the people but at the whole thought process of judging me and my recovery or anyone else in my situation.
EVERYONE is different and I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK. YEAH.......I SAID IT.....I WANT HIM BACK. I WANT HIM BACK. I WANT HIM BACK. I WANT MY HUSBAND.
I WANT LIFE TO BE WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO CARRY THE LOAD ANY MORE. I WANT TO BE FREE. I would SCREAM it from the roof top if I could, but I can't. Gotta be a good little girl now don't I. Do the right thing, say the right thing, think the right thing, be the right thing. I'm sick of it all. Think I'll go puke now before I get to go back to work on a Saturday morning.
I really don't need any advice........I know what I'm supposed to do and how I'm supposed to feel and how I'm supposed to act. Well screw it all, I am who, and what I am. And right now it's feeling a tad better since i got to scream on paper or whatever we call this type of screaming. Okay......done.
13 Comments
Recommended Comments