I am using this space to try to sort out some of the feelings that I have and some of the things Chris and I are going through right now. It feels like we have been on a roller coaster lately. Like this morning, I don't understand him some times, he works very easily and is eager to work with the therapists, but when I ask him to try to do something he gets angry with me or tells me that he can't do it!! It really blows my mind on the reaction I am getting. This reaction has only just started the past two weeks.

This evening I told him that I was going to give him the muscle relaxer and in about 1 hour I wanted to work with his arms. After the hour passed I started. I first started with the non-affected side and he was O.K. Then when I started with the affected side he was constantly complaining that it hurt (I was doing nothing different than I have been doing the past 5 weeks) and he could not relax the arm so that I could work with it. I only did his exercises for about 5 minutes and called it quits because he was not working with me.

Also today he has been very emotional and demanding. I'm alittle concerned because his doctor had decreased his Ativan to AM and PM and he used to be on it 3 times a day. Come to think of it, he has been very demanding the past week. I also noticed this week that he has had the shakes more often and more seriously. I think Monday I'm gonna call his doctor and talk to her, I really wonder if that drug should have been cut back????????

This weekend Chris has really tugged on my last thread and I have been very tired. Saturday and Sunday afternoon I actually took a nap which I do not do on a regular basis. I'm wondering if I was really tired or alittle depressed because he seems to have gone backwards this weekend. Monday the OT comes again and she will be working intensely with his arms. I am going to talk to her about his reactions, maybe she can understand what is going on.

So right now at 12MN, I am exhausted but feel like I can't sleep, so I think I'm gonna turn on the TV and hopefully it will put me to sleep.

Tommorrows another day.........Hopefully a better one.