Michael,

How far away are you from getting Kathy set up in a group home or assisted living? If you've definitely decided that you are going to divorce her it's got to be hard on her to watch you move on with your life while you're still living together. I'm concerned for BOTH of you. It's got to hurt her to suspect that you talking to other women on the phone or on the internet and that alone will make her lash out at you for other things like sleeping on the couch. Right or wrong...it's the way women are in situations like that.

I think of you like a little brother and if you were, I'd be telling you to put your extra energy into getting Kathy settled somewhere else before you go full speed ahead towards another relationship. Get an attorney to advice you on your responsibilites and rights, maybe also talk to her family and see if any of them will take her in. We all understand moving on and marriages breaking up after major life events, Michael. Your families will too. I know it's a hard step to separate with so many under-currents at play but neither one of you is going to heal under the same roof if you're determined to divorce. You've just got a heart to mend, Kathy's got a heart and a stroke to mend.

Jean

Michael,

Ah, Our resident wise woman gave you some excellent advice.

I'm going to add something of my own experience to what mom said. Kurt and I lived together,under the same roof, I knew he was having interest with the neighbor and the stress level and pressure that was in that house that we lived with daily was unbearable. Don't do that to Kathy or yourself. It isn't worth it at all.

Pam

HEY BUD I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ON THE JEALOUSY PART WITH UR WIFE NOT WANTING U TO HAVE FEMALE FRIENDS JUST FRIENDS I MIGHT ADD

I RECENTLY LOST A GREAT GREAT FRIEND CUSS OF THE SAME THING HAPPEND TO ME I MIS MY LIL FRIEND DAILY WONDERING HOW SHE IS

MICHAEL,

MY WIFE AND I WENT TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING TOGETHER BEFORE AND INDIVIDUALLY AFTER WE GOT DIVORCED. THE ONE THING REPEATEDLY TOLD TO ME WAS DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH ANYONE FOR AT LEAST A YEAR AFTER SEPARATING. TOO MANY WOUNDS TO HEAL. TAKE A DEEP BREATH, MAN, AND TREAD SLOWLY.

I FOLLOWED THE COUNSELOR'S ADVICE, THEN BEGAN DATING MY EX-WIFE. OK, NOBODY SAYS I'M NORMAL. WE'VE BEEN MARRIED AGAIN FOR 12 WONDERFUL YEARS, AND I HAVE NO GUILT OR REGRETS. WELL, ONE REGRET. I DIDN'T TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF TO POSSIBLY AVOID MY STROKE.

GOOD LUCK,

MARTY

There seems to be some confusion about K, and after re-reading my blog entry I can understand why.

I have no intentions in any form, shape, or matter to get remarried for a VERY VERY long time. I've got a lot of wounds to lick and heal.

Also, one reason not to get reinvolved is because of the rebound effect. You're lonely and just need company so you fall in love instantly with someone new. I don't want this, I don't need this, I aint going to get this.

I know where to draw lines, but it is nice to finally have some emotional support comming my way.

Don't worry people, I'm not rushing anything. I'm taking things slowly and planning on getting some of ducks in a row before I start a "this could be the one" relationship. Then again, I'm not going to ruin any chances of this being the one either.

Michael