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Acceptance?????


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Thursday was a good day. The new aide is really working hard with Chris in regards to the exercises that need to be done. She also told me that she had gone to school to be a physical therapist but never completed the course. You can really see it in the way she works with Chris.

 

That evening we had celebrated our daughter's birthday. After our company had left, while I was getting Chris ready for bed he just started to cry. Our daughter is very good with him and she had started talking to him - Chris stated that he was upset because he is not making any progress - which is totally incorrect. The amount of progress that he has made in 3 months is unbelievable. So after talking to Wendy for awhile, he calmed down and I had put him to bed. I had gone to the kitchen to finish cleaning up and he started crying again. So I went in and sat at the side of his bed and we started talking.

 

Chris is very mad that he had the strokes. He is mad at what they have done to him and again told me that he hasn't made any progress. We talked for about 45 minutes.

 

I had told him that there is a support group for survivors and caregivers at our local hospital and I wanted him to think about going. I also told him to think about possibly getting a counselor to talk to. He told me that he would think about about these things and let me know what he wanted to do.

 

I really feel that the support group would really help him. He only had alittle counseling in the nursing home which I don't think helped him very much.

 

Friday his attitude was very good. He once again worked very hard at his exercises and today (Saturday) he also had a good day.

 

I'm glad he got his feelings out and I really hope he deceides to go to the support group, I will go with him because I think there is alot for the both of us to learn. After listening to him I don't think at this point that Chris has excepted what the stroke has done to him physically.

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Kim, to me it sounds like Chris is still in denial of what happen to him with this stroke. I was in the same mode when I first came home. In a wheelchair, can't climb the stairs, sleeping in a hospital bed, can't turn over by myself, can't bathe myself, can't pay the bills, it was so many negatives I couldn't see anything positive except this condition and my situation has to improve somehow.

 

Acceptance is going to take time. Chris has been thru a lots including the nursing home. Look how different he was when he got home, that was an attitude change for sure. Mine had to change. I feel a lot different now than 19 months ago. With my little progress, I'm back in therapy again, we just can't give up when the damage in our brain was heavy.

 

 

 

 

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KIM,

 

AFTER THE FIRST FEW MONTHS FOLLOWING THE STROKE, I WAS UPSET BECAUSE IT SEEMED TO TAKE FOREVER TO MAKE ANY PROGRESS. AFTER A YEAR I REALIZED THIS IS ABOUT AS GOOD AS IT'S GOING TO GET. IN THE PAST 9 MONTHS THERE HAVE BEEN SUBTLE IMPROVEMENTS. NOW WHEN I LOOK BACK TO THAT FIRST DAY SINCE THE STROKE, I CAN SEE HOW FAR I'VE COME.

 

GOING FROM CONCENTRATING ON NEGATIVES TO BECOMING POSITIVE TAKES TIME. LOOK, IT HAPPENED, THERE'S NO ONE TO BLAME, AND EVENTUALLY CHRIS WILL REALIZE HE STILL HAS LIFE, LOVED ONES AND A FUTURE IN HIS POCKET. MAYBE NOT PERFECT, BUT BETTER THAN IT COULD HAVE BEEN.

 

MARTY smile.gif

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KIM,

 

AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, CHRIS IS DEPRESSED AND RIGHTFULLY SO. I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW ANGRY I WAS IN THE BEGINNING, AND NOW I'M COMING UP ON THE TWO YEAR MARK AND I WOULD BE LYING IF I SAID I STILL DIDN'T FEEL A "LITTLE" ANGRY.

 

ACCEPTANCE COMES IN DIFFERENT WAYS AT DIFFERENT TIMES FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE. THE FACT THAT HE IS TALKING TO YOU AND SHARING HIS FEELINGS IS TO ME A GOOD SIGN. WHAT A COMPASSIONATE LADY YOU ARE!!!!!

 

KIM pash.gifpash.gif

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