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Friends- or not



I was out at dinner last night with 2 other couples. I was amazed when i realised that I had known 2 of the 4 for nearly 30 years. I went to university with them. One of the couples lives locally but I very rarely see them. The other couple live about 5hrs drive away. I usually see them about once a year.

When we all first left uni we all got together reguarly because of weddings. What fun we had. Then gradually we ran out of weddings so we started arranging a weeks vacation in a mutually acceptable place(because we all lived in different parts of the UK). The house we rented got bigger and bigger with the addition of children. We would do this every two years.

Slowly the numbers have dwindled. We are all still in touch, but other committments get in the way.

So the last time I saw these people was just over a year ago, when we rented a big house. All the children came as well.


I was not able to do much as I was not even a year out of stroke. I would stay in the house if they went for a walk to rest and I couldnt drink because I was on warfarin at the time. They were cool about it. I think everyone was/is slowing down.


It was good to see them again last night. Something has been bothering me all day. Not one of them asked me how I was, how I was doing....


Should I mind? Is it because they can see I am doing alright. Are they embaressed by the stroke. I thought they were uncomfortable when I was speaking and got lost for a word or two. I know I was quieter than normal. I actually dont like these situations any more...having to make conversation across a table.


I dont know what to think. I feel a bit hurt or should I. Even tho I have known them for so long perhaps I dont know them that well after all.





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Hi Mary

It is good to have friends. And the get-togethers you described have been a big part of your life. The shared house for the week sounds a great idea.

Ray and I changed a lot when he had strokes. We became more serious, more health-conscious. Now we don't have a lot in common with our friends but I hang on to as many as I can. I figure that as they age and have health problem too they will have more empathy for us. After all most people can't relate until they have been there/done that.

But the down-side as you have described is that we don't have the opportunity to explain our need to review our progress. Probably you are right when you say they maybe just take it for granted that you are there so you must be okay.

Enjoy your friends for as long as you can and be happy with where you are today. I think you're doing great!!

Sue. pash.gif

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this is just friendly advice, if u don't like it then throw out of the window. I know how you must feel, but sometime forgiving brings more happiness, they r ur friends for long time so forgive them



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