I used to read alot. Hadn't had time for a while pre stroke due to long work hours. I had been off work sick after having an anaphylactic reaction to an IV antibiotic and returned to a new position. None of the work had been done for years and the agency was facing joint comission inspection in 5 months. I was faced with learning the new position and catching up with years of undone work. There was no one at the agency with knowledge of my position so I traveled to one with someone who gave me some guidelines. During this time, my husband had some cardiac issues and needed me to be there as his advocate while hospitalized as well as caretaker for a few months after. I didnt mention raising 3 teens and caring for a home.

When I look at what it takes to complete 1 task today, it makes me sad, angry, scared and like everything in my life is sand and my hands are full of holes.

In the past week, I lost my MAC card, left home to do an errand that took longer than it should have after putting dinner in the oven, fell and hit my shin on the edge of a concrete step, and started reading a book. I cancelled the MAC and will get a new one, the dinner was done when I got home, my shin is bruised and swollen from knee to ankle and I gave in to my pride and got a cane. The book was mailed to me by my neuroligist's nurse practitioner. It is written by a doctor who had a brain injury after a bicycle accident. Can't remember the title. I saw myself in alot of what she describes in the first couple of chapters.

I don't know what the point of this was and it seems I have too much in my mind to stay on one track. That's how everyday is. I have such a hard time completing one thing because I walk away, start something else and when I go back, realize I didnt finish the first thing, so now there are a few things started and none finished and I am too tired and get frustrated that I am tired and out comes that bat that I keep beating myself over the head with and around again.

Today I have a few tasks I want to complete. Wonder what the end of the day will look like?

Someday, this might be funny!