December 1

Need to prepare for Christmas

Today I will have the kids help get the nativity out and lighted

Maybe a wreath for the front door

Need to make it look nice and give thanks for all we have been blessed with, prepare for the Child, miracles.

Today I go to neurosurgeon, have xrays and holter monitor. This device is causing heart problems. Hope I can have surgery before Christmas...better post op pain than what it has been. Our Christmas gift...hoppe the kids feel that way.

I cant get them much and have little ability or time to.

My oldest son is sooo depressed. He was siucidal a year ago...I cant help him...and seeing me having health problems adds to it...meds made him angry so he wont take them, said the psych dr said to him...somethings wrong with you, I just dont know what ...thats all he can say about being in hospital. Has major trust issues and will not go to see someone.

Nothing I can do to help them...trying to concentrate on what I have to do now...dr appts, tests, holidays, money or lack of,

seems like I use this to vent...good for me I guess.

Just PRAY...PRAY...PRAY...thats all I can do and ask for right now...season of miracles...God has mine all wrapped with pretty shiny ribbon and bows and I am going to have faith in that!