i'm SOOOOOOOOOOO bored
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a have read a lot of posts/blogs about the caregiver being challenged by their caregivee's anger, pain, depression, etc. however, i haven't read much about caregivers being bored, which is what i'm feeling right now.
it is so d**m boring being around John. when he is not manic, he goes to work, eats, watches TV, plays around on the computer a little, and goes to sleep. on the weekends it's the same thing, with cleaning thrown in. he can go out to eat with me and not say a word, preoccupied with his own thoughts, which are generally of a very self-centered nature. i can deal with John's anger by detaching/distancing from him, and his mania by suggesting that he needs to call his shrink, but it is very difficult for me to deal with the almost-constant boredom that i feel when i'm with him.
john is being treated by a psychotherapist, a neuropsychiatrist, a rehab doctor, and a neurologist, and is starting his cognitive rehab program on 2/27. he doesn't do a d**m thing to help himself, just expects people the somehow magically fix him.
i feel that there is really no connection between us than between caretaker and patient. John is so passive and apathetic and so self-absorbed. when we talk about how i feel, he says, "i can identify with your feelings," and then talks about his feelings as if they were mine, showing a total lack of empathy.
i remember not being like this at all after i stroked. i was angry, but i didn't lose my empathy for other people and wasn't passive or apathetic.
i can't picture myself in this relationship for the long-term if John's attitude doesn't turn in a different direction.
sandy
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