I absolutely loathe having to spend time with my neighbor lady, Helen. I have stopped going anywhere because I hate having to spend time with her because she forces herself on me and invites herself to go along to what ever I planned to do.

Helen is a widow. She has no children or family, came from Korea where her husband met and married her during that 'conflict'. Clyde, her late husband evidently was her only friend in life, even his family has difficulty with Helen. She doesn't speak well.... never learned to read or write and is tongue tied. Her whole conversations revolve around her(Clyde's) nieces and nephews of whom there are at least 30-50 and she expects me to automatically know which one she's talking about. She constantly laughs at her own jokes frequently before she finishes the story making it even more difficult to understand what she's saying.

I recall one time I made such an effort to follow what she was saying...straining to get all her facts straight, only to find out after 30 minutes that she was only reciting the plot/storyline of a movie she had watched the night before. Wow, I thought maybe she was trying to tell me something important. Since that time I have barely acknowledged she was talking to me let alone try to follow what she was saying. I just nod my head and say hm-mm periodically. Or even I'll say, "Really?" as if to indicate I had understood what she said.

The problem is she has a heart of gold.....since my stroke she has cooked meals for my guys and me about twice a month. That's another gripe I have, it seems all her recipes call for a cup of oil which makes me about gag trying to eat her stuff.. She means well, I just can't eat it, she does make wonderful desserts.

Her late husband was diabetic and I would guess he weighed around 600 pounds.

As a result, of all this friction, I am experiencing guilt about ducking out from spending time with her.

I lost my life from my stroke, and what life I have left and am trying to rebuild has been dominated by a woman I can't stand to be around.

Another irrritant about Helen, is that she waits for my husband to drive home and get barely in the house, I don't have a chance of giving him a kiss and she's at the door wanting him to come over and do something like change a lightbulb.

I don't have the guts to come right out to her face and tell her to "get a life"