I am going to try & write down some thoughts about his stroke that Trev has revealed over the past 7mths.

On the whole he has always remained fairly positive. He believes in looking forward, not backwards at what has past.

In the months before his stroke, he had, with his consultants reluctant agreement stop taking some of his colestral reducing drugs as he felt they were making him loose concentration, he felt "doped up" much of the time. He realised this could perhaps shorten his life, but as he said he's rather live a week feeling normal & enjoy life than live a year feeling drugged up & not able to concentrate. I had no problem with accepting this, it is his life & I want him to be happy.Obviously we can never say that it was this that caused his stroke, but he is an insulin dependant diabetic anyway, which means he is at risk regarding strokes etc.

I asked him a few months ago whether he regreted stopping the drugs, he said an emphatic "no". He has times of feeling frustrated, especially as he is still in a care home so cannot do as he pleases & has to obey rules etc (he HATES rules) & feels he is away from reality, can't even take the dog for even a "wheelchair walk"...things like that upset him. His worse time were before I heard I'd got this new bungalow, because our other house was unsuitable for him to be discharged into....he's told me he thought he'd never come home again. I was unable to visit him very often so he was often just sat on his own for hours at a time which must have been so frustrating for him.

He doesn't like the thought I have to do things like change his pads..his incontinence is almost cleared up...but he has an occasional accident...& he has been in tears over this at times. Trev's sense of humour has kept him going during these traumatic months & I admire the way he's coped with everything.

I love him so much.