Saw Doc yesterday - he changed meds around a little - doubled the effexor and switched me from Ambien at night to Clonipin to help the muscles relax . I actually slept pretty good and leg muscles didn' cramp up last night - fingers are still stiff but I imagine that will improve over the next couple of days....we'll see. Doc signed my disability papers for my educational loans but is going to send me for some neuropsych tests so they can see if and what I've lost...Disability just called and they will be sending me for some testing as well - yay! :head_hurts: All these people crawling around in my head - maybe they can re-attach some things for me - hehehe. Starting to feel a bit paranoid though - do they think I'm faking i having had the stroke? Ah well, it's fairly obvious so I'm not going to worry about it - have enough stuff to keep my head goin in circles!!!

Spoke with my friends and resolved yesterday's issue over the cookie money, so hopefully things will improve.

Turns out that I have forgotten a lot and have had duplicate coversations quite a bit, not sure if I am forgetting things because of the stroke or because of the depression - either way everybody really understands a bit more now I guess...They are stopping me when my attention wanders and reminding me if I've already asked them the same question ....

Girlie had a friend spend the night last night - they are finally up at 11am this morning (typical pre-teens) an are playing with the dog now. Nice to have some activity around the house - had gotten really quiet here.

Am getting tired of being depressed and down on myself , so am going to try to stop the self-pity mode - it's getting really old, don't ya think?Get so bored.....watching TV only goes so far......

Interesting thoughts going through my mind as I wrote this response to Diane's questionDid you have any warning of your stroke?

Looking back - I actually did have warning but didn't know it - nor did any of the medical professionals that I was consulting with at the time ( I felt like I was losing my mind, kept having headaches and what I called "painless migraines") so I signed myself up for counseling/psychiatrist and ended up having the stroke two months into my "therapy". Friends who are close (and are nurses. ex-nurses now feel really guilty because they didn't recognize the symptoms of the TIAs until after the stroke occurred... I tell them that things happen for a reason - no worries, and that it wasn't their fault! I had smoked for twenty years, pre-diabetic, and a major stress junkie....."nothing was going to happen to me" yea right :nuhuh:

I wonder if my friends feel way too guilty about not catching the early signs that they don't want to be reminded??? :uhm: Might have tofollow up with them on that.....