i already know that revenge ...."only hurts you", but right about this moment, i don't feel ANY pain!!!!! i think that revenge is one of my character flaws. HOWEVER, there comes a time when the line between "being nice" and being a "doormat" come VERY close together. what made me think about it was that my co-worker who i have shared office space with for FIVE years just asked me for a ride.

i'll start at the beginning. i have ALWAYS tried to be good to my fellow man. that includes family, friends, acquaintences, co-workers and neighbors. my co-worker and her husband live about an hour from their offices in town and therefore ride to work together. SO, many times in the last five years she has been without a vehicle. ( FOUR years if you count the time "pre stroke". )

in that time period ( FOUR YEARS) i gave her a ride to his office EVERY friday and MANY other times during the week thhroughout the years. in addition, when i picked up lunch, i'd MANY times i got hers too. then, i had the stroke. she was WELL aware that i couldn't drive. i can't TELL you the times that she heard me on the phone telling clients that i had to arrange appointments based on transportation and not ONCE did she offer to give me a ride when she had a vehicle OR pick up lunch for me when she got hers. she'd just sit right in front of me and eat.

in addition, she KNEW that my dad gave me a ride home every day. on MANY occassions when he was out on a job, or was home sick, she not ONCE offered me a ride. i could see if i lived MILES away, but i live 5 minutes away from the office right off the interstate and it's ON HER WAY HOME!!!!!! i would be sitting here with my computer shut down with my purse in my hand and she would get up say "have a good weekend!!!!" and walk out KNOWING that i would be sitting here alone for another hour. one time she even heard me call a cab when i had no way home and she just sat there.

she even had the AUDACITY to tell my dad's partner that she was AFRAID to give me rides because i might have another stroke. this came up in conversation after he had given me a ride one day. well, into the six months i couldn't drive, she got pregnant. she was WELL aware of the day that i was going to get an EEG and get cleared to drive again. i told my mother, ...." i can FEEL it. i KNOW that she is going to ask me for a ride"... mother said" SURELY NOT!!!!!"

well, i got a clear EEG on a thursday and she was out sick. the VERY next day i got my stuff together to leave and it HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she didn't even REALLY ask. she just said " hey, wait about 3 minutes until i finish this report, i need a ride to wayne's office"..... since i had had plenty of time to think about i said....."jenny, i don't give rides anymore. i understand that you have been ( i made little quotation marks with my fingers) "AFRAID" to give me a ride all of these months and i don't blame you!!!! i COULD have another stroke, sorry".

she got a real embarrassed look on her face and said.."oh?". then i walked out and said" have a good weekend!!!!!" you would THINK that would be the end of it. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a week later she asked AGAIN!!!!!!! i said, "jenny, didn't we ALREADY have a discussion about this?" she replied" i know, but i'm not scared anymore" i said ..." well I am, you're 7 months pregnant and could have that baby at ANY time and i don't know NOTHIN about birthin' no babies!!!!!" have a good weekend!!!!!

i thought that she had gotten the message when she JUST asked me for a ride earlier today, AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i said" jenny, i don't give rides anymore and i do not KNOW how to make that ANY clearer to you. she just said" okay" and i left. i don't know the answer to this puzzling problem. anyway, it's revenge alright, but i feel VINDICATED rather than upset!!!!!