I'm so busy today...first day of teaching. Adrenalin kicked in and I just performed for them and had them eating out of the palm of my hand. It is all a struggle moment to moment, but as those weak moments come I remember it is still early in the healing process. That despite her anxieties and difficulties sharing her thoughts right now with me, especially on the phone, that she does love me but can't focus on our relationship and my presence is just a reminder to her that she can't be there for me and doesn't want the pressure to do so. That is hard, but I keep reminding myself...it is the stroke...it is the stroke...it isn't really her. Even she acknowledged that as we chatted last Saturday...she knew her brain was still swollen and things were not clear for her nor could she put her feelings to words. I know Sandy will help her return to herself...I have great faith in that...I just have to be patient. As Jean said...put my fears on hold for a while. Easier said than done I might add :hahaha: but I'm willing to try.

Less than a month to chat with her again...lots of growth and healing for me in the mean time!

I say good morning to her every day as I wake up and good night to her as I go to bed. I'm sending her love and healing and I hope she feels that and accepts that!

Great session with Aruni. I wasn't sure how to keep the boundary between therapy and life coaching and she just drew the line and kept me focused. It is so nice to have someone to lean on IRL. Gave me something to focus on and actions to accomplish. Now to get through my night class...sigh...

I now have a Friday appointment with a new therapist...keep all fingers and toes crossed...I'm feeling supported IRL FINALLY...!! I've been getting lots of virtual support here and with my friends long distance but it is good to have the support face to face, KWIM?