Robyn:

you are telling me you won't blog anymore , now that's bad, I have gotton used to your blogs and seeing you around, hey you can still blog about your life with your kids and other new exciting stuff which will be happening to you, and keep us uptodated.

Also I guess you are not aware that 90% of male caregivers give up on their spouses and run away, and 50% of woman does the same after stroke, so in my mind stroke is big test or barometer of your lovelife.

I am one of the lucky one who wasn't een aware that hubby meant it when he said together for 7 lifetimes, I guess stroke taught me to stop looking around and appreciate what a Gem I got

Asha

I beg your pardon, you are not ready if she wants to end it, the(relationship), it takes time, more than you've had since your latest time of hearing this news. You are still in the devastation stage.

I comment here because you have been a gracious and caring member in a relationship you cherished so much. I speak now because I've been there "four" times and "I know the feeling and pains" it causes in your heart and stomach, not to mention your physical being and behavior.

I was away fighting a war, overseas on assignments, living apart because of the Army commitments, then get a very short letter asking for a divorce. I go see the Chaplin, my Commander and God knows who else.

From that first time until now, I adopted the Serenity Prayer to accept the things I cannot change. I do hope you find a workable solution between the two of you somehow.

Robyn,

Your month of giving Jane space is almost up. Why don't you call her instead of waiting for her to call you? If you don't talk to her you'll never really know for sure how she feels about things. And she might think your lack of communication at the month's end is proof that you "didn't stick around" after her stroke---I know, it's twisted logic but survivors sometimes have twisted logic in the beginning. She might also have forgotten who was suppose to call who first and be hurt when you don't call.

You've just got a case of the nerves right now---that's probably why some of the stories here are bothering you. I don't think there is a person here who hasn't been bothered by some of the stories here in one way or another. Trust me, we've had them all---all sides of the stroke experience from those couples who didn't stay together to those who grew closer.

Jean

You guys make me feel very good!!! I really appreciate you reaching out.

yes, Jean, I've got a huge case of the nerves. I'm scared...I've never loved anyone as much as I love her. I'm scared she wants to end it...scared she doesn't want to try...scared...and sad... I will wait another week or so if I don't hear from her. She made it clear she would call. But if I don't hear from her I'll reach out to her in another week or so and we'll see what happens. If nothing else I need closure. I do suspect she'll call in the next week or so, so I'm willing to give her more space to do that on her own.

Fred...I don't want it to end but I'd accept it if that is what she wants...how can I possibly fight for her if she doesn't want it, you know? I will wait if she wants me to wait, but I'll let go if she wants me to let go... And it will hurt but as you said with the Serenity Prayer...I can't change her and the situation if she wants to end it so I have to accept it...

Asha...I will try to still blog...but I just can't post right now...it is too painful. I would miss you guys a lot!!! I don't want to leave my relationship...I want to be the 50% who stay...I'm MORE than willing to stay!!! But I feel like it isn't my choice...

Take care, and come back when you're ready.

Jean

I'll come back when I am drawn to...the blogging DOES help! But I have to sit with this and get through this next experience. I'll let y'all know if/when she calls...I'll blog again in time...I just need a little space...