Well, its been one month since he left me. I am becoming more independent every day. Things that I thought I couldn't do, I CAN... Its so empowering. I have so many friends, he said "I'd have none". Boy, was he wrong... When a person has beat you down mentally for so long you don't see the other side of the mountain. But its there...

Its nice to have peace and quiet. Just me and my dog. My house is cleaner. He was a trash man, very messy. Looking back I wonder how I lived like that. It was a different me, not MYSELF. Yes, I miss some things about him, but he gave me alot of worry and stress from him not working a steady job.

Like my Mom said before, "I shouldn't have any worries" considering that I only had a 2% chance of survival. I had three bleeding aneurysms which brought on the stroke. I want to enjoy what time I have left, live and enjoy life. Everyone has worries, but he intensified those worries by not being a responsible man.

In 2004 I tried to divorce him, and he begged me to come back. I wonder what would have been if my life took a new direction. I had a chance of a relationship with a new man. I wonder if it was all the worry that caused this....

Well, I don't have all the stress and worry now. Thank God. When we were going downhill I asked my Grandma for help. You probably think I'm crazy. She passed away several years ago, we were very close. She was like my 2nd Mom, not a Grandma. I Said a prayer and asked God and my Gram to send me peace. Its funny what a little prayer can do... Call it God or Karma, whatever... :party: