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eye dr.


icebengals

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Saw the ophthalmologist and got my eyes dilated and everything. He can't explain my vision.

 

He had me do a peripheral vision test...and then told me he'd never seen such good results from anyone - much less on the first try. I almost said it's called dissociation, try it, it works. But AI managed to keep my mouth shut.

 

He's sending me to a specialist to do an angiogram (?) of my eyes. He's concentrating on my left eye and the vision that is left. He's pretty much given up on the right eye...I'm not ready to give up yet though. He was able to rule out mini strokes of my eyes. I didn't know my eyes could have strokes by themselves. I spent three hours there and I'm exhausted. Maybe I'm not being realistic, but I think there should be something they could do regarding my blind eye.

 

Now I'm heavily depressed and confused ( confused by all the tests - they tired me out fast!!)

 

I hate getting tired so easily with everything. I'm tired of being tired. I've re-learned a lot that I don't think I should have had to learn again...and I'm in the angry stage. I get angry over silly things. I ge angry at myself so then proceed to take it out on others...then end up apologizing. I'm kinda stuck in a cycle and I hate it. :yadayada:

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:Tantrum: :ranting: :nuhuh: get the picture? The solution is easy, yet hard to do. Accept. Yes, we hate it, but your life is much happier if you accept things as they are and "know" they will get better - just not 100% and will take what seems like forever.

 

I have an eye problem and went to an opthomologist last year so that I could get my drivers license renewed; I need it for work. He was an older Dr. who had been around and must have realized that my left eye was shot. He said I had cataracts (thanks to a med I have taken for years- believe that can be a side effect, but was the only one I could take after testing many 'cause I'm so sensitive) but anyway, he said, but don't worry about it now. I did not go back in 6 months as he would have liked, but did in a year since he wrote on report to state that I had to - and then he retired later in the year! Good for him, but left me having to find someone else. So I went to another one in the same practice- a younger Dr. He right away wanted to do surgery for the cataracts. I figured if I am able to pass the driving test for driving with 1 good eye with corrective glasses, why do that if maybe that isn't the problem (and I doubt that it is entirely) So I wear the dumb glasses which make everything look close (maybe it is) but I really wonder because I park about a mile away from gas pumps, back up only about a foot and go back and forth when there is plenty of room etc. It makes it difficult and has me acting like an idiot when I do those things- yes, I get looks.

 

But, in general, you say, I'm not giving up, and I'll live my life the best I can and accept because I can't do anything about it but what I am doing. Think of all the time and energy you expend by getting upset and acting like the first 2 characters above.

 

Try it, you'll see.

 

Phyllis

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hey Icebengals:

 

I agree with Phyllis, we all go through angry stage, grief stage, but best thing you can do for yourself is accept and know it will get better given time and working on it. we all need that peace of mind and acceptance will bring that back in your life, also startlooking at still some positives remained in your life. by being angry,sad& confused about your state you are ruining the perfect day where you could have enjoyed just being alive. start counting your blessings.

 

Asha

 

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Your anger may come out of frustration because of the things you cannot do so well that pre-stroke didn't require any second thoughts. Also, after a brain injury, we tend to anger more easily. I know I don't have the patience I once had. I try to keep things in check for the sake of others around me. This site has helped me by allowing me to write about my frustrations and vent my feelings. In turn, the other members have given me solid support and guidance. That part is a treasure because we understand what each of us is going through.

 

When I first came on this site, I was upset because I had my stroke at what I considered an early age. I figured, even w/ my vascular condition, that I had at least another good 6 or 7 years ahead of me. It was when I started reading others' blogs here that I realized, I shouldn't be complaining about the years I thought I lost (6 or 7 years) but I should be grateful for all the years I did have as a fully functioning person. Those were blessings I didn't realize I had.

 

What Phyllis and Asha wrote, I agree. When you get up in the morning, you have (2) choices to make: you can be happy that day or you can go through the day in a depressed state of mind and make things miserable not just for yourself but for the people around you. THAT kind of behavior will make you really popular w/ the crowds. :) I believe that if you (you in general, not just you as a person) harbor anger, frustration, depression and sadness, you expend far more energy than if you decide to be happy and appreciate the things and people around you. I am basically lazy and so I opt for the latter version of appreciation. Your decision.

 

Your recovery is a long road. This is a time for you to heal yourself. It can and is frustrating a majority of the time but hopefully, the longer you go down this road of recovery, your frustrations will lessen as you get better. Be kind to yourself and take this time for yourself. Something or Someone may have created this situation for you so you can stop and smell the roses and other things of beauty life has to offer. Take Care. LK

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