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Happy July 4th




Well its another holiday first. I did't think this one would be a biggie but it is. Because it falls on a Friday I have a 3 day weekend and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I dread it. I now find comfort (or something like comfort) in going to work. And the thought of three days off just makes me cry. It will be a long weekend. I am just feeling so lonely. I just realized today that it was the 4th and i would be off. I will go and see my husband of course, but then I will be at home alone. I just cannot believe my family could be so heartless. They know I am alone. I don't even want to think of the end of the month. July 29 is our wedding aniversary. I just want to get pass this and get on with it. My niece (my sisters daughter) is having a huge birthday party for her one year old daughter and i am not invited. It would be nice to go somewhere and have a distraction. I told my mother that I want to be with the family and that I need my family right now and she told my sister and my sister said she "was not in a forgiving mode". So thats that. I didn't do anything to be to her that needs forgiving. So like someone said people "pick fights" lets them off the hook and they can feel justified in shunning me. I have accepted this but it just makes me sad and I'm already sad about my husband.



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