Sharon,

Aside from just his safety, it would probably be too much for you and put your health at risk to care for him yourself at home and then where would you both be?

You're entitled to a seat on the pity pot from time to time - you've certainly earned it unfortunately. Maybe before you are getting ready to leave start veering away from thing that may make you a bit more meloncholy like looking at old pictures.

Hope you feel better.

Love,

Rea xoxo

:friends:

sharon:

I agree with Maria. It is lot of work & hassle taking care of adult infant.

I hope tomorrow you feel better tomorrow.

Asha

Sharon,

I agree with these smart ladies. He is the best place for his safety right now. It is good that he can be there right now. One day, he'll improve and get to be home with you. Wish I could be there to give you a huge (((hug)))

God Bless you both.

Sharon, I just re read all of your blogs and I think the main problem is that you are just drifting through life. You seem okay, working, visiting Mickey, coming home BUT if you re read your July 4th entry you will see it is a hollow existence. This is partly because your main focus seems to be holding on to a hope that Mickey will "one day" come home and until that day you don't have anything planned.

So my advice is to list weekends, say for the next six weeks. Find out what is happening in your local area, match the dates to the weekends. Now, start writing: Saturday 19th, pick up flowers at local markets, Saturday 26th take a picnic lunch to .....Park, Saturday 2nd August, have a massage. You get to fill in the blanks, this is just my ideas. I call this rebuilding your life.

You and a lot of other caregivers are like widows, but you have a living husband. Like widows you have to do things for yourself and on your own. There are very few people who will understand this I know but bear with me here. You cannot move on in your life, Mickey still needs you and you need him, but you need to move FORWARD in your life and that means doing some new activities or renewing your committment to some old ones.

A lot of women have to face what you are facing after a divorce and this is part of the advice I gave when I was a Lifeline counsellor. Just start rebuilding your life one event at a time. Renew an acquaintanceship, do a course on something that interests you, start a garden, scrapbook your photos, join a new fitness class. Plan your life a few weeks ahead with a view to including some new interests in it. I know your time is scarce but as you found on 4th July there are spaces that you could fill up with something new. Think about what you will do on the next "long weekend".

If your family cannot support you put it down to a lack of character on their part. My sister was estranged from my parents and I for fourteen years, but life still went on and we lived, laughed and loved life without her. Her loss. It is sad but true that a lot of family members fail to step up to be supportive when they are needed. It becomes less of a problem as time goes by. Now when my sister does call or visit I treat her as if she were a casual acquaintance. I always treat her with courtesy but I don't feel that closeness I once felt. I know that she is shallow in her affections and that is just a trait she has and nothing I say or do will change that.

I hope with some planning your tomorrows will be better. You will find in time with or without Mickey coming home that you can still have a full and satisfying life.

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

Sharon,

I, too, am sorry you are having such a hard time. Sue has some excellent advice. You need to start doing something for yourself. I hope you can find a way to do that.

(((hugs)))

Vi

Sharon, I know you miss Mickey and want him home, but ..... the Mickey you brought home... will not be the one who left the house.....

As you say he is Safe.... he requires 24/7 care.. and you would be exhausted, you could injure yourself trying to lift him.. You relationship would take a BIG change.. No you can visit and have your times together.. 24/7 total care would change your relationship... not that you would Love him any less.... but you would actually have less time to relax.. and be "with" him... and you would be totally responsible for all of his care...

Sue has some ideas.. fill up some of your time. Life is still worth living..

hugs, Bonnie