Sweet Girl,

There is absolutely no need to apologize for writing when you are down. We all have the down times in our lives. That's why blogging is therapeutic - it gives you a place to let it all out.

With your young age it is tough not having a "honey" to share your spare time with but that will change. The right guy will come along when you least expect it. Believe me, I know.

I'm sorry to hear there is so much negative happening on campus - that's just as it is in the outside world as well. Would be nice if we could surround friends and loved ones in cotton to keep them safe but we cannot. All we can do is pray for their safety and know that all is in HIS hands.

You might not have a 4.0 after next Friday but I'm sure your grades will be great anyway and that you will be able to maintain your scholarship status.

You are trying really hard.

Try to think of Christmas break as a down time, a relaxation time for you. A time to re-energize yourself. Yes, the cold weather bothers we survivors as well. I've learned though that the stiffness will alleviate itself once warmer weather comes again. You might want to slap me for this but I'm going to say it anyway as it keeps me going. For every cold and icky day I make it through, it is one day closer to nicer weather returning. Am I an eternal optimist? Yep I am. But it does help overall to keep more positive ad keep a smile on my face. There's an old saying that I've heard since I was a child: "Keep smiling - everyone will wonder what you are up to".

Hang in there little one - huge (((HUGS))) to you.

katrina,

The thing about your blogs is that they aren't always sad. They seem to go in cycles ~ oddly like something else. I noticed on the board you mentioned your arm tightening up badly which is weather related, but also symptomatic. Feeling a little crampy and cranky? It might be a good idea to start keeping track of when you hit these periods of being down in the dumps to see if there is a correlation with your other monthly event. I've always had a strong suspicion there might be. I've always had a bad case of the the hormonal black cloud thing, but the thing about it is for as horrible and miserable as it is to deal with each month. You know what it's really about so in a matter of days you know it will pass.

On to other lectures.....You're not pitiful because you're alone. You'd be pitiful if you settled for some jerk as an alternative to being alone. Don't sit there and think about how pitiful you are start the paper earlier instead. I'm sure if you lower your standards you'd have a new boyfriend in like 5 minutes but don't do that cause then you'd really have something to be sorry for. But you know that it's one of my regular often repeated lectures. No compromises, no excuses, never settle.

Love,

Maria :hug:

Katrina:

there is study out today that happiness is contageious. that's why it is important to surround yourself by happy people. I also feel writing happy & sad thoughts both helps immensely on your own mood. I know in my blogging days I always concentrated on positives in my life. I think happiness is a choice. you survived for a reason. & no outside circumstances can ever make you happy because all of those are out of your control. try to find happiness with in you. also try blogging only happy events in your blog for sometimes. see if that helps.

sorry for being preachy. but I believe by writing those problems you are allowing it to rule your life.

Asha

I think if you so often I dont see you as sad, as if you dont have a right to be even if you are but I want to make sure that I dont pass by quietly without saying we are all here for you just as I know you are here for us. Its a journey and we have chosen to care for each other along the way. Hug Karen

hi katrina,

maria has a very good thought in you keeping track of your sad times......it could very well be connected to hormones. if not, perhaps talking with your doctor about an anti depressant might help.

you don't have to say sorry for writing when you feel down...we all do that and we are all here to listen and help each other out. one thing i am going to say again: watch your expectations...you are very, very hard on yourself. as far as being alone...i know from moving around dozens of times as a child, that you have to be a friend to have a friend. that means reaching out to others and that is how good things happen.

try to enjoy your down time during your school break....hugs ,kathy [/b][/b]