Today I went to the DMV for my re- evaluation. I thought it was going to be just updating my medical records but to my surprise I had to take the road test. I was a nervous wreck, my dad had really upset me and discouraged me as always, and I started to feel like driving was too hard. To make a long story short, I passed the brake-response test, I backed up in a straight line, I even parallel parked, but the driver instructor claims I rolled a stop sign therefore I failed the test. I only passed 2 stop signs and I specifically remember the type of cars I watched go pass me when I stopped. I think my not passing the vision test had a lot to do with her decision even though the headquarters already have said my vision is acceptable. I was really fustrated because I used up all of my leave time from work to take that test today and my nerves were wrecked after so much pressure and my dad tearing me down during practicing. but I have to go back in 2 more weeks and take the test again, then I have to set up apppintments with all of my doctors to get them to fill out another medical evaluation, then I dont know what happens. This whole process is just so fustrating. I have been trying to drive for the past 3 years but I guess nothing in life is easy.

In other news, I had been feeling down a lot since my last entry. I just get these urges to clap my hands, scratch the excema on my right arm, and I just really want to feel something with my hand. Its even hard for me to fall asleep at night because I just want my arm to be straight and my wrist to stop making my fingers curl. It just feels like I just had my stroke last week like Im trying to get used to this all over again. I dont know where all this has come from. I even try to exercise but it only hurts more. I try to put my arm in the brace but I get so tired and frustrated trying to straighten my hand and hold my wrist down. I've cried a lot lately and prayed just wondering if God is going to wait until I make it to heaven to finally answer my number 1 prayer. If anyone knows how it feels, some empathy would help please.