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neurological nightmare


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I have been undergoing tests at the University Medical Center in the city 50 miles away from my home to try and unravel the mystery of why I cannot get better and have actually gotten worse with my side effects from my last stroke. I am very scared because most of the tests are very painful and invasive and I am tired of being the brave patient.

 

I want my healthy body back before the strokes!!

 

I know that it is wishful thinking to say that but that's how I feel tonite.

I have to undergo more tests and I have been having nightmares that I will be unable to stop the tests from being a permanent part of every day. Kind of like a never-ending deja-vu type thing.

They still don't know what's causing the decline but I tell them I'm worried about not being independent anymore. I have already lost so much to these strokes, my car, my job, my house, my self-esteem, my relationship, and I want something to not be taken away from me. My independence!!

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Katz, I deeply empathize with what your having to go through. I can imagine how unsettling it must be to be in the constant "testing" stage before they can pinpoint the problem. I'm so sorry you have to be going through this. I pray things will improve for you SOON. When you feel your sense of bravery leaving, try to find COURAGE. In difficulties biding our time is one of the strongest ropes we can hold on to. GOD BLESS YOU and give her the courage she needs to stand firmly throughout this ordeal.

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katz,

 

what you have lost is a devastating blow. i understand your frustrations with the doctors and the tests too. while i have improved TREMENDOUSLY since my stroke in 12-03, there are many times when i do go through a "decline", ie: memory gets worse, depression, etc...

 

my thoughts are with you sweetie

 

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