Another year has come and gone, another year begins
At midnight, the past, became last year,
While next year is now this year.
Another year of hopes and dreams, carried over from the last
In hopes of finding resolution and peace
I wish everyone PEACE and a Prosperous New Year in 2007
I had to go and have a test
My doctor said it's for the best
We need to find out what's gone wrong
Why you can't walk and not fall down
So off I went to MRI
They checked my head to see inside
But then they told me wait and see
Just what the doctor will say to me
A week later I had another test
My doctors said this place is the best
We need to find out why your weak
Why your muscles play hide and seek
So off I went to EMG
They checked my nerves
A fleeting rainbow passed a chance
To float above the water of a lake
Afraid of showing it's beautiful colors
And of what other rainbows might think
Inside it's hues were ingenious thoughts
Ideas of showing colors so bright
But so afraid of failing
That it faded out of sight.
Too tired to play today
I stayed inside on a beautiful day
And slept like Rip Van Winkles kin
And when I awoke I was too tired again
The children ask to play their games
They want me to run around in the grass
And chase them upstairs to make time pass
But I just smile and tell them sorry
I'm too tired to play today
I am not old and was so strong
I could chase my boys all day long
But the strokes have stolen my energy
Now I watch or more often listen
As they tel
I have a war going on in my mind called frustration.
It is trying to drag my already fragile happiness down the drain of despair called depression.
I am feeling so restless and missing the activities I loved to do to keep busy with. I feel like a prisoner in this body that will not cooperate and tires out so fast.
I am suffering from major spring fever and this is the first spring since this last stroke that I am unable to do much except watch people enjoy the activities I used to do alo
I took my nephew, James, out to dinner for his birthday last night, his real day is Saturday but he will be at his grandparents and with his friends so I have to jump in and take advantage of a night to have time with him myself. Since I can not drive anymore my sister, his mom, was our "limo" driver and of course the younger boy, my "Babydoll", Sean, had to come as he is too young to be home by himself.
My "Hot Dates" as the boys called themselves were just rearing to eat at our local Appleb
I have been undergoing tests at the University Medical Center in the city 50 miles away from my home to try and unravel the mystery of why I cannot get better and have actually gotten worse with my side effects from my last stroke. I am very scared because most of the tests are very painful and invasive and I am tired of being the brave patient.
I want my healthy body back before the strokes!!
I know that it is wishful thinking to say that but that's how I feel tonite.
I have to
The shy little goldfish swam all alone
Flipping it's fins in frustration while hiding in the reeds
Flaring it's gills at it's doubts and fears
That kept it isolated and hiding
The shy little goldfish wanted so much
To be like all the other goldfish that lived in the pond
She wanted to swim in the open water
Sun herself and feed with the crowd
But she was unable to summon forth the courage
To leave the safety of the reeds
Awaiting the night so she could feed
My girlfriend and I went out to the Marsh near my home yesterday. It is a nature preserve that holds some of the most breath taking views of water birds in our area.
My girlfriend and I always love to go out and have girl's time out. She sends her hubby off to play golf and I just leave the cats sleeping on the bed and we take off for lunch, shopping, or walks on the trails near the canals.
Our walks this year will be much shorter as I get tired fast and it's hard to use my walker on som
Well I thought I would write about my strange birthday surprise. On the 5th of April I turned 41. Thankful to be able to spend it at home with my family and friends. But my surprise wasn't something I had hoped or wished for in fact it wasn't expected at all.
I had to have an emergency appendectomy.
What a surprise I didn't have a clue as to why I was so under the weather because I didn't have that much pain unless I stood up. But my girlfriend insisted I go to the ER and I was told
One night as I lay crying,
Alone in the darkness of illness and grief.
God came near to comfort me,
To help my soul find solace,
And set my heart at peace.
My tears had called out to Him,
They told Him of my pain.
I prayed for Him to take my soul,
But asking was in vain.
He held me close and kissed my brow,
And said My child I am here with you,
I cannot take your soul with me,
You still have much to do.
I know your suffering is hard,
I remember pain as well,
As I am now, you may yet be
So I'm asking you nicely
Don't Tease Me Please
And get your laughs out of taunting me
Not caring that once I was just like you
Young and active, productive and smart
And that just like you I have a heart
It can be broken and tears can fall
I'm just like you just different that's all
I ask you please don't laugh at me
Because I'm not what I used to be
One day you may join the souls like me
Whose lives are changed by injury
Or illness that e
It's nearly time for morning dew
As I remain awake, unable to rest
Though my body aches with fatigue
From my very busy day
My mind struggles with everything
As though it sees all things as new
The questions that pour from my damaged brain
Re-building my memory banks
Trying to set order from the chaos
Left behind so kindly by the stroke
That came along to ride with the headache
That robbed me of more humanity
And they ganged up and beat the hell out of me
Leaving me to l
What brings comfort to me??
The beauty of the city lights from the top of the hill late at night
The silence of nighttime
The purring of my cats
Giving and sharing my heart with friends
My apartment where I make my home
Knowing I'm needed and that others are glad to see you
A shoulder to cry on when things are all wrong
A hand that will hold mine loneliness sets in
My fishtanks as they make that bubbling sound
And knowing that
The Day My World Changed started just like any other
I went to work and did my job and ate my usual supper
I sat outside along the bank of the beautiful creek where I lived in peace
Petting my cats as they chased their tails and caught bugs flying through the
I saw my nephews and chatted with my sister as the night began to fall
We tucked the boys into their beds and retired to the living room
I watched TV with my sister until the hour grew late
We both had jobs tha