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today i'm scared



I wake up scared and on the verg of tears. I don't know why. I know if I go to meditatie it will go away and I'll be ok again. only i feel imobilzed and can't even meditatie. I will but for some reason I'm scared. I know nothing has changed since last night when I was not scared and feeling peacful about it all. so why does this happen... oh I hate being human. i know it will not be therre soon but for now it hurts so much.


its hard being all alone not having anyone to call or help .




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I am sending you virtual hugs. maybe you are having panic attacks?. Lot of things have changed in your life in an instant. feeling scared about unknowns is natural. My hubby used to tell me during my anxiety. just stay above water & tide will pass. things will change for better for sure.




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I never htought of that. My sons gets panic attackts... I don't know what they are. right now it has passed. I'm not going into the rehab unit until after his rehabs at 3;30 are over. they said I cna't come into the room when he is getting them so he sleeps up till then .

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Nancy, I am saddened you are alone and have no one to call. There are support groups where you can meet face to face and be among survivors who are experiencing what you are going through. You do make friends with these folks and they are very supportive. Many are there when needed wih a phone call. Have you looked into this?



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You have been through a lot recently. If you were like me when the stroke first hit, you didn't have time to deal with your emotions. You were focused on getting your husband (and yourself) through this crisis. Now the immediate crisis has passed and those fears you pushed aside are surfacing. Do your best to deal with your fears, anger etc. and allow yourself TO BE HUMAN. No shame in that :)


Take care,


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Thank you I will.. I got here to the rehab and his mouth was full of flem ( how could he have had a swallow therapy with that???? and it was at 2;30 and I got here at 3;30.. then I looked and his wrist was swollen and I assked when the ortho dr was coming. and no one knew anything about it. I said the head nurse last night ordreed it... well the dr examined him and said he would need an exray first.


i had called my hand surgeon and he said make sure it is not infected the ortho dr can tell and if it is still enflamed next week have him come to see me. by assess a ride.


it does't hurt him unless you touch it. its probably arthriitis which the hand surgeon diagnoised a few months ago. but as he said we hae to make sure it is not enfected.

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now how do you tell if it is infected??? the nurse said if he is running fever. which he isn't. They are going to take an exray tonight. and then call in the ortho to look at it. NOw good news. they are going to change therapists to one that stays later and have his therapy at 4;00 instead of 3.. which will be so much better cause when I got ehere he was wide awake and communicating with me. i coudn't hear him but he was alert and aware. and asked me what happened on the phone when I was talking to my brother. SO GOOD. to see him this way...

i quess some of my crying is seeing him comotose and not knowing if he will come out of it. even though the neruologist said as the bleed reccedes he will. the rehab place seemed more pessifmistic when they spoke to me....

they are trying here. so I think its a good place not the best but a good place where they try to do the right things. I still can't get them to suction his mouth. but I'm hear everyday and do it. I need to talk tot he swallow person and ask her to do it before her therapy session if he has flem .

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