Tony's Blog

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# 3


wdtony

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of course I had nightmares last night and woke up in a panic after about one hour of sleep. This happens every night to varying degrees. I almost always wake up checking to see if my body still works. I also wake up several times throughout the night with an alarmed feeling. I think my subconscious is still reeling.

 

Overall, had a decent day. Walked a little. Developed a headache half way through the day, took 1000mg ibuprofen and felt better. I felt disconnected from reality for most of the day. Walking seems to help.

 

Noticed my lymph nodes below my ears were swelling more when I was up and walking. These nodes had been hard and large all of my life but I started to think that since these nodes are so close to my carotid arteries that this may have been a contributor to the stroke. Despite a possible connection, this is just one more health problem I should pay attention to.

 

Twice tonight I was watching tv and a person was horribly harmed and both times I felt very ill. It was as if this were happening in real life. I almost had a panic attack and had to change the channel. One instance was a man with a brain injury which was very upsetting because it was gruesome. I first noticed this problem immediately after the adverse reaction to the SSRI over 3 years ago. TV would effect me as if it were real. It was extremely emotionally intense and draining but I had not had this problem (or noticed it) for several months. I guess the SSRI damage is permanent and probably is more noticeable during times of stress or weakness...and especially after another brain injury such as stroke.

 

I feel as if I am making very small progression.

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Tony,

The nightmares are alarming. The panic attacks that follow are bad. It is scary that the movies seem so real to you.

 

Progress is sometimes slow. But, I must encourage you to keep working. It does pay off. The payoff may be small, but any forward advancement is cause for celebration.

 

The SSRI damage is interesting.

What happened?

Ruth

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Tony:

 

I have never dealt with what you are going through, but I can imagine how scary it is to wake up in the middle of night scared. hope you feel better soon. I have learned in my life as long as I keep marching on in my life. life does have its way to find new normalcy.

 

 

Asha

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