• entries
    279
  • comments
    1,313
  • views
    16,461

Changes


CagedBird

698 views

Thank you all for commenting on my last blog. A lot has changed since my last entry. I finished my job. Im back at school now. I will be graduating early in December :Clap-Hands: I like the dorm I stay in. I have been wearing my wrist support at night and each morning I wake and turn the light switch on using my left fist. I am also able to open the bathroom door, close it, and turn the faucet on and off with my hand in a fist. One morning I even brushed my teeth and ate my cereal with the help of my good hand :) I really need the use of my left hand. I want to be able to do more than one thing at a time. My bluetooth headset helps a great deal but I want to be able to flip channels on the tv and eat at the same time. I always thought I was supposed to wait until my fingers start moving but Im starting to realize they arent going to move unless I help them so I just pray I learn to use my left hand even though I cant open it up or move my fingers. I went to the pain management doctor. He told me to take 1 baclofen in the morning and 2 at night to help with the crazy spasms I get in my legs at night. He also wants to put me back on botox but I dont want it. Every time I go somewhere I try to remember to straighten my arm out instead of just letting it curl up. I dont need the botox. I can straighten my arm out without it: )

Well on a sadder note, Phil dumped me 2 days ago. It hurt me so bad I cried forever. I did so much for him. When he would come visit I would one handedly dress him, wash him up, and everything. Does anyone realize how hard it is to take off and put a shirt on someone who can not sit up USING ONE HAND? Does anyone realize how hard it is to try to get a 150 pound man in a bed from a motorized wheelchair then lift him back into the chair USING ONE ARM? I even spent my money on getting him handicap accessible hotel rooms to stay in when he would come visit me. But to show his appreciation, he dumps me :( I feel like he was my first love and I still dont understand why he dumped me but I never want to love again. I never want someone to take my kindness for weakness. I never want to bend over backwards for someone to just break my heart. He would tell me he loves me everyday. He had just told me and we had just talked about our future after I graduate the day before he dumped me. Well I am going to stop venting now

Thanks for reading

I want to get back active on the boards but I have really been slacking on my schoolwork. Taking 18 credit hours for the last semester is a heavy load!

7 Comments


Recommended Comments

First off, I am so terribly sorry about your break-up. It's understanding that you would be heartbroken, particularly when you have invested so much of yourself into a relationship. I highly commend you for your determination in caring for him, dressing him and whatnot. You're a wonderful and a very caring person. If I was that guy, I would be so grateful for your help, especially since it's not easy for you to accomplish.

 

You are right about your hand not moving on it's own, that you have to help it move. The sooner you can the hand moving, you can start on the road to improving. You may not even notice it, but it can be bit-by-bit at a time in a roller coaster fashion. Don't be surprised if that hurts. I remember getting my frozen knee to move for the first time after knee surgery. I was grunting like crazy and my 3 cats came over and sniffed me all over. They cracked me up and made me lose my count of reps (this was years before stroke).

 

I'm amazed you're doing this and attending college at the same time. I hope it all goes well for you. :thumbsu:

Link to comment

You are doing so well!! you are an inspiration!!

I am sorry about the breakup. I know that you hurt. But, with time it will pass. You are such a caring person. I cannot imagine how you were able to care for Phil.

Keep working on that hand. I have read that resistance, pressure is what is needed. Press down , put weight on the hand and arm.

I try to have William do planks to put some pressure on his arm and hand.

He does get botox shots.

Ruth

Link to comment

Katrina,

Great news on the arm. Keep throwing your left hand in there. It took many years for your brain to learn to live without it, now you need to reteach it to use it again. Keep up the great work, you'll get there.

 

I'm so sorry you got hurt honey. I know you don't see it now but he did you a favor. No one should love you for what you do for him, but for who you are. You are an amazing beautiful young woman who deserves to be attended to and appreciated for who you are. Ones that will make you cry are a dime a dozen so...LATER!

The one who's worth you time will jump through hoops for you because you are worth it. Never, ever sell yourself short or settle.

 

Love,

Maria :mwah:

Link to comment

18 credit hours, who the heck are you Super Woman? gym.gif Take time to breathe please. I remember taking 13 hours once, not doable for me. I'm very sorry you got stung and hurt so bad. He is bound to have regrets and that will be his problem. You are a very strong person, I've read several of your posts, an inspiration. Take Care, Mike

Link to comment

Katrina:

 

I echo Maria's sentiments. guy who finally gets you will be the luckiest guy. taking 6 courses in a semester will keep you very busy, good luck with your studies. :congrats: on graduating this december. I still remember you just graduating from HS. Time flies by so quickly.

 

hugs,

Asha

Link to comment

My left hand hasn't made into a fist yet but it's close in 7 years. My thoughts are we lack enough attention to exercising it, but I could be wrong, I'm not a doctor nor therapist/

 

Sorry to hear of the break up no fault of yours. I know you poured your heart into the relationship this time with another person with a handicap as well. Regardless, you gotta look at romance, relationships and marriages as temporary in nature throughout all of life together!

 

I'm in my fourth marriage, many people have only had one and still together. I suppose it is the nature of two people getting together and deciding to remain together as one until death do them apart.

 

So, now that is what I feel I have finally after four tries, but again, that's the nature of life in the human race. Animals, well, that's different in most cases!

 

The one thing I learned from all my times at the alter is the vows say one thing and a person says another but we all repeat them with good intentions! In my opinion you are getting the best thing possible in life and that's an education which means you can always depend on you to live however you please!

 

Life is all about getting educated and being able to take care of yourself. No one can take that away from you like relationships resolve somehow!

 

Don't give up on life together with a mate, I didn't and now I'm very glad I gave it one more try. She is and has been my soul mate for 12 years now and I'm 69 she is 58. Compare that to your present age...You still got time. :happydance: :big_grin:

Link to comment

Fred is a very wise old coot. Getting your education, defining and learning to take care of yourself is the best thing you can do. No one can ever take that away from you.

 

Relationships may resolve or not work out as you had hoped, but you'll always have your sense of self.

A long time ago you asked what was meant by....you can't love someone else unless you love yourself first.

This is it! ~~ not you can't. but you're really better off

Never look to someone else to complete you. ~if they go away you're shattered.

Educate yourself and grow from within so you are complete within yourself and no one can shatter that or take it away.

Love and romance are then more of a choice you can enjoy than a desperate need to fill a hole which you always fear at any moment could bring your world to a screeching halt.

 

We'll have to find you a younger version of Fred...He's a keeper.

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.