Thanks everyone for your comments to my last entry. You were right. Phil wants me back now but it still hurts when I think of how he hurt me so I have cut off contact with him for now. I am still trying to use my left arm. I wish my wrist was more straight. My friends have been tagging me in lots of pictures on facebook and the first thing I notice is my bent wrist. The baclofen is bittersweet. It straightend my fingers so I can hold thing and stretch them out but it keeps my wrist bent. My wrist is so bent, I cant touch my arm with my finger tips sometimes. I still wear my wrist support but it doesn't seem to make a difference. I am glad to be remembering not to neglect my left arm though. The other day I had bags on my right shoulder so I put one in my left hand so I could use my right hand to do other things. I actually carried the bag in my left hand without dropping it. One night I fell asleep with my arm completely straight even though I don't think it was straight when I woke up. I just feel like if I can't use i like I want, at least I can keep it straight and make it appear functional? I dont know.

I celebrated my 9 year stroke anniversary on Monday. I started to write a poem but did not finish it. It was basically about how I enjoy the simple things in life. I thanked God for being able to bathe myself, get dressed, do my hair, walk outside my room to the dining hall, and eat breakfast. 9 years ago I had to get sponge bathed by a nurse, I could only wear a hospital gown, I did not even have anough strength to lift my head from the pillow, and I was being fed a liquid diet trapped in the intensive care unit. I always have to remind myself of an old fortune cookie I will never forget. "Don't let great ambitions overshadow small successes." I am not where I want to be but I thank God I am not where I used to be. My weekend was wonderful also. I traveled out of town for a state conference with my sorority sisters and fraternity brothers. All I could think of was the weekend I was stuck in intensive care, the weekends I was stuck at home with no friends. This weekend I took joy in riding in the car watching power lines and green pastures fly by my window. I wore my pixie skirt showing my brace and when people asked, I told them what happened. I really enjoyed just getting out of town and having fun with my sorority. I remember last year I was depressed on my stroke anniversary so this weekend was a great distraction from that depression. I also told my story to one of the faculty at my school and he is going to put it in the newspaper :Clap-Hands: This morning I also shared my story to a group of freshmen girls and motivated them to do well in school like I did! I hope I got through to them. It's hard to tell my story without feeling like people feel sorry for me. Anybody ever feel that way? Well I hope they got the picture that I am a survivor not a victim. Speaking of, I walked 3 miles at the Heart Walk! My whole university participated in it this year. It really made me feel good. I might can't walk in a straight line and I might have a limp but I am so thankful I can walk!

I need everyone's prayers! School has been sooo stressful. I dropped two of my clubs, but I joined another one and everything is stressing me out. I got 2 Bs on my midterms I really pray I get all As by the end of the semester so I can be val or salutatorian. My professors convinced me to go to graduate school so on top of studying for my 6 classes, being active in 4 clubs, I am also studying for the GRE!

Well I have to work on some papers now. Hopefully I will finally get time to join chat tonight