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About this blog

Memories and thoghts

Entries in this blog

Exploring the Possibilities

Leave no stone unturned. There was a time when I was younger and without a physical disability. I always tried new things. Somewhere along the way I started to accept the status quo but if you don't try new things, you stay in the same old place. As long as you are alive you can move forward. You will not always succeed but failure is just another stepping stone to success. It is a learning experience. I have always been a perfectionist. If I couldn't give something my all out best and do it we

Pearls

Pearls

Thinking Back

When I was in the hospital either someone told me I was paralyzed or I overheard it in conversation. I don't know which. I wasn't upset or afraid. i just thought "Now what?" . It wasn't until many days later that reality struck and I began to understand the consequences of paralysis. Then it became a real part of my life. Hmmm. was I in denial or shock? i think it was denial. i argued with a doc that yes I could walk. i insisted I could. i then found out that I couldn't even stand up much les

Pearls

Pearls

Zipline

My son says I'm too old, too fat and too disabled. I am trying so hard to pull myself out of this stroke suvivor rut. I need support.

Pearls

Pearls

An overdue THANK YOU

THANK YOU for being here my friends. Strokeboard has made such a measurable difference in my life and i want to thank each and everyone of you. I'd be out on planet Jupiter without you. Well meaning family, friends, therapists are all reassuring, but it is you, fellow survivors, that i come to when I cry and feel scared and lost. You are my soulmates that understand and stand with me through it all, you are the wind under my wings. Much love to all of you.

Pearls

Pearls

NEVER GIVE UP

Two years post stroke and suddenly today I can move my thumb. I will admit that I did give up after many many ups and downs. There was no movement whatsoever in my paralyzed hand. I don't know where this will lead but I am back on ghe rollercoaster and excited for the ride.

Pearls

Pearls

Surviving vs Thriving

The way I look at it surviving is learning to live with half a life and thriving is living at full steam. so you are living at full steam one day and out of the blue boom you are taken down by "it". You are taken down in so many ways you can't even describe it. So you lean over pull up your boots and try to go on. i at a " soul level " i don't understand the attitude of OTs. everything is geared towards adapting to your new life, to learning how to survive. and they encourage you in this new w

Pearls

Pearls

Going shopping

My husband took me clothes shopping for my birthday. What a treat. I admit i was fearful of the whole dressing room scene but the salesladies were very helpful and understanding about my husband going in the dressing room to assist me. I have lost 40 lbs since my stroke and truly needed clothes that didn't fall off of me. For many months food tasted and felt strange due to damage to one of my facial nerves and i ate very little. Shopping and changing clothes so many times was akin to a very tiri

Pearls

Pearls

Never give up

Many ups and downs but i always go to therapy and i always give it my all and something extra. Sometimes i give up on full recovery but never on improving where i am today. The difference between try and triumph is the umph. If i don't recover it will not be for lack of trying it will be because that's all there is. I'm not happy with that but that's who i am.

Pearls

Pearls

Still the same

Noooooooooooooooo!!! Tired of hearing the old cliche. No i am not still the same. I am different. My life is different. I will never be who i used to be again. I am that brain damaged woman hobbling down the street with the wide eyed gaze, the odd smile,moving at a snail's pace. People feel they have to tell me how good i look for "someone who has had a stroke". I may be brain damaged but i am not blind. And it's not just looks. I am a shattered soul, inside and outside. The tell me i am

Pearls

Pearls

A new reality

Five months in and everyone keeps saying "Look how far you've come". Yesterday i walked and talked at the same time! First you learn to stand, then you learn to sit in a wheelchair and do toilet transfers and bed transfers. Next i used a hemi-walker. I walked with a staff and then a cane. All of those with a Gait belt on of course. Safety first. My first fall was smack down on a tlle floor in the bathroom. My wheelchair was on top of me and my husband was laying on top of the wheelchair. I'm n

Pearls

Pearls

When your soul dies

My husband and i had just returned from an extraordinary river cruise in Europe two days before. I was ready to go back to work and get back in the swing of things but i had caught a cold on the way back home which was quickly turning into bronchitis. Coughing, coughing, coughing. My husband was outside doing chores in the yard. Should i call the doctor or should i just suck it up. Coughing, coughing, coughing. I was coughing so hard i was choking. I went into the bathroom because that is what

Pearls

Pearls