AZ Leah

Asha~ I always find your blogs uplifting. I've been in the dumps lately and know I would feel better if I blogged but I haven't made myself do it yet. God will only help you if you help yourself, right? I have been readying spiritual books every day so hopefully something will touch my Spirit to get going! Leah

this is a great discussion topic. I am constantly being challenged by change - the latest of which was the worse, the death of my husband 4 years ago. I am still in an upside down mode and am waiting with patience for the Lord to tell me my next move. Leah

I'm so happy for you. My husband and I went to Italy (a dream of mine) before my stroke. I would not have been able to handle it after my stroke. And of course, Jerry passed away in 2011 so I am grateful he agreed to go. We had an awesome time and met lots of wonderful people. In fact one of the couples who was on our tour from CT (I'm in AZ) we hooked up with and toured Glacier National Park in Canada; had a wonderful time. I'm still in touch with her by email. As you know I haven't blogged in a while or been in chat. It seems as though when Jerry died, my whole world turned upside down and I can't right it. Maybe some day God will give me what I need to get my life right again. Fondly, Leah

Happy Anniversary Asha. I love cruises also and am so grateful my honey and I went on several before my stroke. And yes the water is so calm and soothing. I have many photos I can reflect on I never learned how to surf...too old; don't miss it at all. Leah

HAPPY NEW YEAR STAY SAFE AND MAKE STROKE RECOVERY A PRIORITY IN 2014 SO WE CAN ALL HAVE BETTER LIVES. BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND SPIRITUAL. love you all, LEAH :friends: :cocktail: :happydance: :Clap-Hands: :Dance: :Jammin: :cheer: :music_band:

BEFORE THE DAY IS OVER I WANT TO ADD MY WISHES OF A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE HERE ON STOKEBOARD.NET. MAY THERE BE PEACE ON EARTH AS THE NEW YEAR TURNS. I PRAY EVERYONE IS SAFE AND YOU HAVE HEAT, WATER AND NO ICE ON YOUR TREES LIKE SOME OF MY RELATIVES IN MICHIGAN. For a change I am happy in Arizona with the low 60's and nights in the low 40's and I have heat, water and no ice, although some of the city does have some ice on the windshields in the mornings. Reminds me of days gone by. For 2014 I plan to continue working out to get stronger. No telling what will happen. Of course, I'm sure the good Lord know. Happy Birthday Jesus. Fondly, Leah

Time to get back on the horse I fell off. I ended up going into HealthSouth rehab to jump back into physical therapy. I cannot say it helped too much except to point out to me how far I had fallen off the horse. They used e-stim on my left leg but I think you need a lot of zaps for it to do much good. Because I went in on a Friday and they don’t do much over the weekend, I only had 7 days of therapy and some was occupational and speech which I felt I didn’t need. My gait isn’t much different; I came home last Wednesday. Most of the PT was done on raised mats which I do not have at home and I can’t lie on the floor because I can’t get up. Yesterday I tried a group of exercises on a pretty firm mattress in my guest room and today my back really hurts which is probably why. My first outpatient appt is next Tuesday, so I will see what they have to say. I am not taking many pain meds on purpose so my mind is clearer. I feel one thing that started my downward spiral is Oct was the 2nd anniversary of Jerry’s death and I really fell into depression; I think the first year was all shock and acceptance. I tried in-home PT from Bayada but felt it didn’t work at the time. In retrospect it was probably better than I realized. Today I went back to the Bayada exercises because I can do them standing or sitting. I know I cannot stop; I didn’t even know how to write this blog. So, it’s time to “come clean”; I am not good at exercise and it sure shows. The first 3 years were great and with so much progress I got spoiled. Then 3 falls later I fell off the horse. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving; I am not allowing myself to beat myself up but will continue to take it a day at a time. I think of you all a lot even though I’ve been absent from the boards. Fondly, Leah 

Hi All: Due to the decline in my stroke recovery process, the social worker said I needed in-house physical rehab badly. She needed an evaluation from my PT caregiver and Bayada and a script from my doctor. She was surprised I had gone down this much without the doctor sending me before. I've been begging and literally crying to no avail. So i most likely will change drs when I get out. I should be out in 2 weeks, hopefully a lot stronger. I have been praying for a change and hopefully this is it and it works. I think the rehab center has a computer room so hopefully you can email me and I can post my progress. I am going to do my best to be strong. I think this is my last chance. So, say some prayers for me please and I'll do the same for those of your who need them. Fondly, Leah

I've traveled that mt. road a lot too and it can be fun if there is no car crash stopping traffic. I used to love the holidays; not I don't like them at all, especially with Jerry gone. After my stroke I slowed down decorating but I got well enough to do some; now none is my motto. Tucson nights have gotten very chilly but the days are great still. Fred, I hope your recovery is on the up-swing; I wish mine was but I am now researching something new. All my lab tests have dome back negative, which is good but I wish they would find something other than depression. Leah

I am so grateful for you that you can walk and take part in walkathons, casual walks with your husband, etc. I'm lucky to walk around the house but at least I can do that with my walker. I start 3days/week home health PT tomorrow so I hope that will get my strength back somewhat. The other wasn't working. It took me 1 hour to get ready and then up to the club for 1/2 hr of work-out and in and out of the car and club and house was hard on me too. So Plan B is in effect and my long-term care has arranged and will pay for it. Yeh, I also have a RX for lupus, valley fever and mono. Ruling everything out. God Bless You. Leah

GREAT PICTURE. And yes my mom was still dancing at age 80! Keep it up. I wish I could move like that but my stroke took that away. Glad I had a lot a dancing when I was younger. Leah

I hope the surgery goes well; I feel you will be glad when it is over. I had a complete hysterectomy when I was 43 (had severe endomitrimosis) and I was so happy to be rid of pain. Good luck.

Sue, the good thing is that you got it handled, if only temporary. And the lesson is that everything can be handled. As you know I also am a widow but I have people to call who can fix just about anything and other people who I can cry on their shoulder, even if it is the Lord. The Lord will help us all alone the way and I KNOW you believe, like I do. Bless you. (It's okay to moan) Leah

I feel for every word your wrote today Sue. October starts the 3rd years since Jerry died - it doesn't seem possible. Many things are different (or better grief-wise) but many seem worse and I am aware I have brought these on myself. Being that I can no longer drive, I don't get out and about like I used to and I realize I have forced myself into isolation. I know in my brain what I need to change and I pray to God to help me. But God will only help those who help themselves. So I called my sis today to say happy birthday, my caregiver took my cat to the vet without much good news but thank goodness I have the caregiver and the $ to pay the bill. So as long as I an think what was good today that is a start. Bless you, Sue; I will pray for both of us and for others who are in our shoes. Leah

Hi Yvonne : my nails were a complete mess and I can get those done. Don't understand the reason for hi blood sugar and manicures unless it has to do with the risk of unsterilized instruments. My husband was a diabetic and could have manicures if he was careful who he went to. He only went to one girl. Thanks for the email

Instead of making my life easier, it seems I have unknowingly made it more complicated. One thing which contributed to this is by joining Facebook. Now I have Facebook, StrokeNet and email and I can’t handle what I already have. The numbers of people who appear on my Facebook page come from blood relatives and their husbands and children and grandchildren, friends I used to work with, those I know from years ago, my ex-husband’s daughters and grandchildren and Strokenet members. Many who post I don’t know as they are friends of friends of friends etc!. I never did figure out how to set all the preferences of Facebook so I get posts which I have no interest in and many emails saying someone (I don’t know) has posted a comment on my page. StrokeNet and email is easier for me to handle. Therefore, I am resigning from Facebook and hope it helps me manage my time better. I originally went on Facebook because my younger sister had posted pictures of her son’s wedding which I wanted to see. I have enjoyed some of the pictures posted by my relatives but other relatives like my older sister and her large families aren’t on it. So if you don’t see me that it why. Now on to blogging, I really don’t have much to write about. I figure you all get tired of my same problems – chronic fatigue and neuropathy. I was hoping as time went on (it’s now been 7 years) I would get better, but instead I have gotten worse. With my fatigue worse I don’t go to my PT as much and I only have a few things I do and a few people I see and/or talk with. Life just goes along. I miss Jerry immensely but the type of grieving is more in meditation and reflection. I think God is saving up all my tears. One thing I am adimant about is I will not give up and I try to get to at least one PT session a week. I am interested in other blogs and learn from the many uplifting ones and how others are dealing with their “problems”. I believe in a positive attitude and I believe that is what has gotten me to travel this far. Our weather has been very hot this summer and I miss planting. Our regular landscaper does the heavy trimming, fertilizing and pre-emergence but doesn’t plant flowers in our entryway or in pots or our back screened porch. For next year I am thinking of finding someone (I have an idea of a lady that words in a nursery near us) and she loves flowers. I think she might be up to doing this type of job. My caregivers don’t do this (although they do water pots that are planted) and I think they would water new ones put in... They do let me know if things look dry. I can see this is a disadvantage of living in my house, although the pros overweigh and cons. Most of our backyard (all on drip) comes back by themselves after our frosts are over with. This is taking care of Leah week. Sunday I showered and had the base color done on my hair, worked out today and tomorrow having a long-overdue manicure. I love my manicurist so that will be a nice talking session too. I hope all is well with everyone. I have found a new cream for the neuropathy on my heels and lower legs. It is called “Topricin”. I got it on line but Walgreens and CVS is supposed to have it. After only 2 days I can feel a difference YEH. My rheumatologist also switched my osteoporosis med. from a once a week pill to Prolia which is administered by two shots a year. This is relatively new and I will like the fact that I have to take a pill Sunday morning then wait an hour before drinking anything except water or eating. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and knitting – lots of lap blankets which the assisted living facility around corner really appreciate. If I hear of new I will make sure to let you all know. Til later and prays to all survivors to get better, Leah

I agree that God has a master plan and we usually do not know why things happen but some day we might find out. Leah

Hi Asha: I compliment you on what I see is a job well done (so far). I don't have children but I have read you teach them the right thing, right from wrong, and lead them on the right path and then at a certain age, you let them fly (with guidance I might add). The years of control will be over if you ever had them. Love, Leah

Sue: I can identify with so much of what you said. Getting outside your comfort zone and being grateful for what you have. One thing I thought of is that since I am the stroke survivor, I am really alone except for my caregivers (thank you God). Most of my friends have "disappeared" and I try to remember I too can reach out on the phone or internet and not have to join a club or drive my car. My days are pretty much the same and I see the same people each week - 2x/week I work out (brief but it is getting out) having my hair done. I think about all the good Jerry and I had (it'll be 2 yrs in Oct). and, yes, it has gotten better and I don't cry much any more. I think a lot about the gratitude I have for the trips we took and things and people we saw and met before my stroke and before Jerry died. If I look at things straight on instead of upside down, it is always better. Hang in there Sue. Leah

Hi Sue: It is very hard to go from a busy (normal) life to being alone and grieving...you as a caregiver and me as a survivor. What I have found and I still can't make up my mind, is I signed up for Facebook to see some photos of little nieces and nephews back in the Midwest. Now I have found all of this is just too much. It is taking time away from both FB and Strokenet plus I still have learning, especially with FB and it is just too cumbersome. I've gone off FB twice and I think I will do it again so I can clear my head. Tomorrow I start PT again. Last week I was sick (stomach problems) so am now weak and the fear crops in that I won't do good enough. But I have to do it or else I certainly won't be good enough! So we will see and you will see me one way or other. My younger sister is a FB junkie so of course she doesn't want me to go. But she isn't me and she is 6 years younger, didn't have a strokd and has a LOT of energy. So keep it up and God will be with us as we chug this happy road of destiny. Cherio my dea