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Weird....

Entries in this blog

Beating Myself Up

For not being able to afford to have my 17-year old cat diagnosed and possibly treated. Instead, I had to put her down. I feel like I'm a murderer because what if it was something she could have recovered from. Yet, since we couldn't afford the specialized vet care, I couldn't stand to let her suffer. I cannot stop crying and mutilating my mind over it.

moonrocket

moonrocket

Angry Daggers

I absolutely don't well with deadlines and pressure. Haven't been able to for so many years. I tried pleasing people over and overm and then, just short of my goal, I crash. I procrastinate because I know it's going to happen again.   I could not handle all the anger that I would recieve. Having people be angry with me is like getting a dagger stuck into my head, right between the eyes. It hurts in a different way, as it is not like physical pain, but a psychic pain. This makes me feel unbeli

moonrocket

moonrocket

Total Deafness

I went to an audiologist yesterday and it's official. I hear nothing out of my right ear. Yes, I have always been deaf. I used to wear a hearing aid in my right ear. It never helped me to decipher speech or a lot of sounds. It wasn't really a big deal to lose all of the remaining hearing I had, since I could lip-read up to a point.   My audiologist told me that if I want to get that remaining hearing back, I would have to act fast because if I wait until later, it would be too late. I do

moonrocket

moonrocket