She called today...its over. Said she doesn't even think of me... Said other things that were hurtful as if I had done something wrong... I spoke with a good friend who knows both of us and she said I've done nothing wrong...that truly this is all about Jane's projections and emotional intimacy problems. And she said she'd ABSOLUTELY tell me if that was indeed the case, that I had messed up in some way. Bottom line, it is easier to blame me rather than to acknowledge she has a ton of baggage...that has ALWAYS been her problem. She always said she was being honest with me...always said she told me everything... She lied...she did...she lied... My three year relationship was just one big lie... I can forgive her stuff post-stroke, but she was referring to issues pre-stroke... I trusted her and it was all a lie. And no...this is not the stroke talking folks...trust me on this one. I got duped. If she was truly committed to me as she said she was, she never would've closed and locked the door. This was just a convenient excuse for her to leave because she couldn't handle the emotional intimacy. In my discussion with our friend, she said people with Jane's level of emotional difficulties have a serious pathology, but I never saw it...never...I got duped. Our friend saw it but I never did. Jane wanted the level of intimacy I could offer but really couldn't do it in the long run. SHe's simply incapable of it but convinces herself she can...for awhile. Intimacy can only come when SHE'S comfortable...and when she didn't want it I was made to feel that intimacy was wrong. Our friend said she thought that Jane was simply using me...I don't know...

I'm angry and I feel sorry for her...but I'm glad I moved on a week ago...glad I had the stuff packed up and ready to send back to her. I told her I was going to send it back...along with pictures and letters and everything else... I have enough memories in my mind, heart and soul...I don't need the visual reminders in my life right now.

So life goes on...I'm sad but relieved...