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This isn't how I planned my retirement

I recently had my 3rd anniversary since my first stroke, or should say celebrated the 3rd anniversary since my first stroke. Yes, I think celebrate is the right word, for I now celebrate everyday I wake up breathing as if it was a gift.   I have heard some people say "We have worked hard all our lives, raised a family and saved and planned for our retirement and then this happened, why? just when we were finally going to realize our plans and enjoy what we have worked so hard for most

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Our Healing Angels: Caregivers

First and most imporantly: THANK YOU!!! Thank You for being there, when I really need you. For taking all the heat when other family members tell you that you should of done this or you could of done that. Yet you are the one that is there there 24/7 and stayed with me night and day from day one, thru rehab and now cares for my needs at home. You are the one that places my needs above your own. The one that has sacrificed your life , your health, your happiness so that I will do my exercises, or

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Two Most Comon Questions

Hello Everyone,   In reading posts the two questions I run across most often are 1) What caused my stroke and 2) what are my chances of having a second stroke. Below are the answers I have found.   Doctors are experts in what they dont tell you.   1) The best way I know of to find out what type of stroke you had is to go directly to the source. (No not your Doctor, lol ), but rather to the hospital whare you were treated and find the office called Medical Records. Walk in and tell them

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Love VS Obsession

LOVE vs. TOXIC LOVE   Dysfunctional Definition of Love by Robert Burney "As long as we believe that someone else has the power to make us happy then we are setting ourselves up to be victims"   Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney One of the biggest problems with relationships in this society is that the context we approach them from is too small. We were taught that getting the relationship is the goal.   It starts in early childhood with Fairy Tales where the Pr

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A Whiapering Night

A Whispering Night   A black and moonless night, so void of light. No stars in this sky to view the minuteness of our lives. No moon to reflect the everwiding circles of the pool in our minds desire. It tis a night when clouds swirl like ravens wings in flight. where no breeze dost whisper thru the trees, nor break the stillness oftheir leaves. A night so dark and black that only lost souls of long ago do move freely thru the stillness of this night. Where dreams ar

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Looking Back

Hi,   The hardest part of recovering for me was the personality changes I experienced after my Stroke. I had several TIA

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Brife History

I have had 1 modarate stroke and 2 smaller strokes since May of 2003. I have small artery disease as well. I can tell you from experience that to try to explaine what it is like to have even a mild stroke is all most impossible to do. The last time I went to the hospital she yelled at me for being a pain and interupting her precious evening, I ended up in ICU for 4 days with a nitro drip in my arm to help get my blood pressure down. They then placed stints 11 and 12 in my femoral artery. I don

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The Journey Continues

First timer with any support group Foxnix Posted on: Sep 9 2004, 07:03 AM     Member     Group: Members Posts: 75 Joined: 19-March 04 From: Carriere. Mississippi Member No.: 2577     Hi Cindy   You are very welcome for anything you may of gotten from my Posts. Life has a funny way of twisting things around at times. You see I am here to thank You for your posts and your answers to them.   You see I had been holding thoes feelings inside me for over a year. When

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As I continue My Journey

Sometimes in our intense desire to learn, to acquire technique, to attain an enlightenment, we seem to push farther from us the very state we seek. In the above story the sense of Zen being a teaching outside words and letters, scriptures and dogma is well illustrated. Kyogen had learned all the outer form of Zen, but in terms of deeper realization, the new Master aided him best in his quest for true understanding. The realization of Zen is not something that can be "told" to anyone, rather it i

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My journey Towards Post Stroke Recovery

It is customary with public journaling and diaries for those who may be following along NOT to add replies.           Below is my story. I am a Stroke Survivor, having had my first stroke in May 2003. I cant give an exact date because I dont remember it. Since thoes early days filled with darkness, despair, hoplessness and fear. I have had 2 more small strokes, and several TIA's. As well as a few other little surprises. It has been a slow and long journey for me. Many times just wanting t

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The Broken Oak

The Broken Oak   In a lush forestland alone on a hill ,stood a great oak full and secure. Its branches spread wide, its leaves reaching high into the open sky. its days filled with warm summer breezes, and soft gentle rains. It stood over the forest as if it were its domain. Then came that dark and fateful night when lightening struck and ripped it apart. The once great oak split into, half of it burning till only ashes it left, leaving the oak scarred and broke. An acorn unde

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Post Stroke Processing

Today, 05:13 AM Post #1     Member     Group: Members Posts: 85 Joined: 19-March 04 User's local time: Feb 24 2005, 05:23 AM Age: 53 From: Carriere. Mississippi Member No.: 2577           hello Survivors and Caregivers   As some of you who know my writting can attest, I sometimes convey an attitude in my words. I dont mean to direct them to any single indivdual, I write about the things I observe around me, the things that I see in myself that make me angry. Sin

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2 poems from the dest of Foxnix

A Day Unfolds   In the morning our paths cross by chance, by noon all our lives secrets and thoughts reviled, our intentions both deep and solemn, we are akin. As night approaches we seem close and dear, sharing our bodies as but one, our passions run wild and deeper then a river wide. As the stroke of midnight approaches all seems so clear. Yet when the sun arises our paths do break, as nothing we shared seemed to take, two wayward souls in search of a match to make. For In the morning

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Commitment

Until One is Committed     Until one is committed, there is hesitance, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative (and creation). There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never have otherwise occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the deci

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A Day Unfolds

A Day Unfolds   In the morning our paths cross by chance, by noon all our lives secrets and thoughts reviled, our intentions both deep and solemn, we are akin.   As night approaches we seem close and dear, sharing our bodies as but one, our passions run wild and deeper then a river wide.   As the stroke of midnight approaches all seems so clear. Yet when the sun arises our paths do break, as nothing we shared seemed to take, two wayward souls in search of

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Rebirth

Rebirth It surrounds us in it's ever growing   silent darkness. It calmly envelops us in   it's ever growing circle of pitch black   oblivion. We become that which in the   depths of our hearts we fear the most.   We cling to our memories as steadfastly as   we savor our last sweet breath of air   Not understanding this dark   oblivion is not unlike a caterpillar's   cocoon, as it opens to deliver us unto a   new light. Like the butterfly breaking   into flight

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Under The Stars

Under A Sea Stars     There are nights at sea when a sailor sees the ocean without a breeze. The waters are calm, the sky is clear ,the sailor is at ease. A cascade of stars so bright and clear, and few will ever peer.   The sailor he wants to be as one with the sea and sky above, but all he finds is the loneliness that creeps in to stab him with the sword of oblivion. For the sea and sky have their own will that no sailor can overcome. .   In a tent on an ocean of sand a young bl

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Finding Peace in Turmoil

The following quote is from a site called DailyZen.com. I have found alot of inner peace and guidance and hope some of you may as well.   William a survivor   Stopping and Seeing     Wei-tse (d. 1348)           "Calmness and insight develop through stilling thoughts: the mind of the buddhas manifests therein." This saying seems to refer to cessation and observation, or stopping and seeing.   The ocean of nature to which all things alike return is essentially united, quie

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Religous tolarance

Primitive religions are unlike the great religons of civilized people of the world except in one feature that is common to all religions--The emotional concern present when men find themselves dependent on powers that are mysterious and unpredictable. The hidden powers by which primitive people feel themselves surrounded and with which they deal, by magic rite or prayful appeal. rain, sea, or some species of animal or plant. Such powers are the strange potencies in these natural objects in virt

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