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Entries in this blog

everything you wanted to know and...

...and what...not enough IMHO. Why don't doctors tell you about the 'kick ass' factor of caregiving?? What is it with this wimpy sh-t I see. "Is this Ok?" " Do you need something else?" "Here, let me get that for you"   "Chris, why is the wheelchair near the bathroom?" "Out of habit, I guess" "Chris, do you think it helps your Mom to wheel her to the bathroom instead of the strength she receives from walking to the friggin' bathroom?" "Well, it's what I've always done" "Not

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Old Friends...

I spent all day with Rita...Chris and Julia went to a wedding today, so the day (and evening) was ours (beautiful weather here in Maryland, 85 and sunny with a light breeze). Julia is a Cellist and gives lessons, in home, while she cares for Rita and she occasionally plays at weddings. This evening I spent two hours with them talking when they got home...Rita was fast asleep. Chris, Rita's son, was surprised at how long Rita and I have known each other. I liked telling Chris I remember when

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John Hopkins...

I went to John Hopkins today (Baltimore MD) and we did a tour of the hospital as we waited for my Dad to go through surgery. We visited the statue of Christ in the rotunda and on the outskirts of the room were ledgers where you can write prayers. I spend some time shedding tears and reading. How intimate those thoughts were. I was a voyeur. My Dad made it through just fine and we were all relieved. Spending time with my Mom and two sisters was priceless...in each others company. Kinda dow

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...so many directions

...I'm overwhelmed. First off, thanks to the stroke survivors group on the evening chat of which I barged in on the past two night. I'm just too grateful for their help in finding the 'discussion board'! How did I miss this! I have my 'blog' in my favorites, so I was unaware of a discussion board. I spend four hours last night reading links within the discussion boards. Oh, how we (meaning me) are clueless!! ...first off, I found out about the Supreme Court case Olmstead vs US and it

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Jumping in with both feet

Well, I'm jumping in with both feet. I took your advice JStern and asked Rita more direct questions. "What do you think about all day?" "You guys...what you are doing?"...so I tell her about work and what we are doing and the new office and taking her to visit the new office. My kids and what they are doing. We watched a movie together while her son and daughter in law went to dinner. I was able to talk to her son for about a half hour at the car when they returned. They are overwhelmed a

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Respite Caregiver

It's been six months since I've posted. I now have my place in her life...giving her son and new daughter-in-law a break. I'm the only one who seems to be comfortable being with her by myself. Hey, if we go down, we go together. We'll just lay there till someone comes and helps us up!! (Note: Son says it cost $100 dollars if the EMTs come out to help her up. I say wake up the neighbors...or flag down a car. But really, I find it interesting that our volunteer fire company charges a fee..

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I went for a visit

Today, I went for a visit. 3pm. It took me till 3pm and lots of cussing to go and visit. I watched a Carol Burnett movie about AA, slam down the remote and storm out the door. I sit in the parking lot and smoked a cigarette. The greeter at the door suggested, due to a highly contagious rash spreading through the nursing home, I should come back January 19th. An out. I'm not turning back. I go to her room and the bed empty (except maybe behind the curtain, I sense there is a person, but I

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Unable to deal

Would you be angry that I'm selfish? I take all that she has been through and digest and swirl internally and then what do I do??...shut down, don't deal. How common is this? I was by her side every evening in intensive care...visited once when she was in acute rehab and have yet to visit her at the nursing home. Surely she knows...surely she is disappointed (as is my family) in that I've not visited her.   Thank you Vicki for chatting with me in the Lobby of the chat rooms. I've been

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