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Stroke Survivor - female
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About achandra

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    Maximus Mentorus

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
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24,225 profile views
  1. Kelli : you nailed it. That's why I feel stroke was valuable teacher for me or us, which allowed us look beyond petty things. & grow spiritually & mentally how cool is that. Asha
  2. I am the person who is afraid to make decisions for the fear of getting it wrong. Since I feel happy & my ego gets boosted when decision I made turned out to be beneficial for our family. So any big decisions when money is involved I put it on hubby, which is not good way of being strong independent woman. Its not that hubby doesn't make mistakes, he does too, but he never makes it equate to him being failure. when hubby makes wrong decision, he has courage to stand behind that decision & make it right again, in some he looses but gains valuable experience & confidence, which I lack since I am afraid to make a mistake since I only want to hear how good I am & not you suck mom. Now slowly getting that confidence that any decisions made in life is good thing, either it will boost your confidence for doing things correctly first time or teach you valuable lesson in life. We all have to learn from our mistakes & grow from it. Sometimes things that scare us most are good teaching tools for us. Asha
  3. achandra

    Pam : don't project too far in future with your fears & create yourself unnecessary anxiety, sometimes written words can be mis interpreted, he loves you & won't act that way because of misunderstanding. Would you have done to your own children? He must be hurt thats why not communicating & taking break, don't read too much into it & create yourself anxiety. Family fight with each other & then comes around for each other in their hour of need. Pain is no fun, I pray for your strength & relief for you. Also I know when I am hurting or frustrated I take out my anger on person who are closet to me, so usually my hubby gets my frustration. then I feel bad that poor guy if he gives up on us I will be screwed fpr life so better be nice to him lol. We have to be kind to every one who comes in our life Asha
  4. achandra

    Kelli : I am glad you just got warning. I think you should try to get all morning shifts. With your eyesight driving during daylight is better. Asha
  5. I am woman with still work in progress. I keep on learning, forgetting & relearning my lessons. Some lessons my life experiences has taught me are hardest to learn & I still struggle with those from time to time. Though I am blessed in a way, that since I gravitate towards those kind of people who can share their spiritual wisdom & get me on right path any time I struggle,.I have been surrounded by amazing set of people who put me back on right path. So that brings amazing joy in my life. Anyway these Sunday some of us met & discussing these big questions life throws at us like why I am here & what's purpose of my life. I was telling every one that how when good things happen in your life, we are likely to take all credit for it, but as soon as something goes wrong in life then you start questioning God & where is he, why did he allowed something so bad happen in my life. One of the argument was made, you need to put God first in your life, in good times & in bad times, he gets all credit. Hubby said wonderful thing while we were walking home, he was like why do we have to label any event as good or bad, events are just events in our life, we got to deal with them as they come along in our life. two very thought provoking statements which straightens me & my ego out. Asha
  6. achandra

    I agree with Heather, you should get up & walk every 10 mins for 5 mins inside home, go from one room to other, sitting & playing for so long can't be that good for you, brain needs other exercise too like reading, walking. Asha
  7. achandra

    Sue : for me personally finding online support group & blogging about my journey has been very therapeutic for my soul. If he agrees ask him to join our caregiver chat which is here on every Tuesday 8-9 EST in caregiver room. If he joins maybe he will like it & will be able to open up about his emotions. Asha
  8. I know I keep on saying this, but realizing something amazing about my hubby after 27 years of marriage is funny. That shows you how I am so different in understanding different love languages of people. ok back to my life. I recently realized something wonderful hubby used to do when I had just come in this country out of love, duty or fear for my safety, so I never paid attention to it & took it for granted. Anyhow here is story, after our marriage when I first came to this country, we used to live in New York city. It was 1990s, NYC was not as safe is as it is today. Anyhow in those times there were no cell phones to communicate, internet was not very ubiquitous yet. I used to take graduate level courses in university in new Jersey & we did not have car so I used to take public transportation so none of us had any control over its reaching time schedule. but on my class days he would always be there waiting on subway station to take me home, since walk home was not very safe in the evening. In my own frustration of spending few hours in public transportation to reach home, I don't ever remember wondering how long did he have to wait for me. Though recently I realized it while talking with old friends about old struggling days, & light-bulb went on, that hey asha do you realize how lucky I am to be married to such a steadfast, dependable guy. So had to share here, so I never forget Asha
  9. achandra

    wow Jay : such a beautiful poem. you got great talent in writing poems, It feels like I feel same way though can't express it as eloquently like you do. I feel same way about my second chance at life always feel so grateful to where I am today even with stroke. Thanks for sharing Asha
  10. achandra

    Sue : I am so sorry for your loss. you have to be like doctor & not get attached to any of their patient, I know its hard thing to do. I am so glad you had great friendship with Lyn., after Ray passed away. We all need some good friend we can hang out & can tell each other all of our emotions, fears everything. I am still searching for that in someone. I think I am looking for good girlfriend I can talk to & get guidance from without any judgement & honest feedback on how to improve my life so that it feels more meaningful. Asha
  11. Sue : I am so glad you went, you are surrounded by so much love, that I know you will do fine, family will understand & accommodate you, & whole get together will become more meaningful & memorable. post stroke life is just different not good or bad its just different. BTW we have chats in the evening too M,W,F 8-9 EST, hope to bump there with you often. I know from my own experience people who blog or chat with other survivors feel & do much better in their emotional well-being. Asha
  12. Melissa : I feel lot of relationship either break apart or get stronger based on how things were before, & also depends on the person, for example in my case had it been our roles were reversed, he be survivor & me caregiver, I don't think I would have strength to keep everything together. So sometimes I am glad that it was great that I stroked & I was able to see his great strength & love for our family, since we talked very different love languages, I was able to see his love pretty well, which made me realize what love really means & I kinda matured more after my stroke. Anyhow after any major life changing event it sometimes makes you take stock of situation & you get chance to change things. BTW even though most of us dread change in life, but I believe that when sometimes drastic change is happening in life, which feels like wildfire, but it is actually God's way of rearranging your life, so that old things burns out & chances of regrowth(which might be better)can happen, & sometimes it will be better than you ever imagined. This has been my experience. I wish you lot of inner strength to get through this difficult period in your life. Asha
  13. Tracy : I also think I talk about my stroke & my recovery story to every one. I also feel I should stop. Its been 14 years this is my life with my challenges no one has to care about it & give any allowances for it. World does not revolve around my problems.Every one has gne through some issues in their life. your step mom has issues but since you are living with them, only thing you can do is to help out in cleaning without judgement. there has to be give & take in every relationship. Asha
  14. As you all know by now I enjoy & love my life including all lessons & blessings that come my way. Recently we reconnected with our spiritual group which I was active before while taking kido to his indian languge classes & vedic hinduisim classes where they were learning about two epics Ramayana & Mahabharata of India. where one epic taught them about how to be noble human being so what we should strive to become by following God ramas footsteps, & other epic taught them what we should not do & in one of the epic lord answered student all questions we encounter in our life journey where you question all those deep questions of the life. So anyways after kido grown up & we had lost touch with this elite group which are full of learned intellectuals & now accidentally we reconnected again & I feel my life has become so much richer due to interactions with highly intellectual people. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by some classy people. learned something so interesting yesterday which wanted to write down so that I don't forget in flurries of living life. one of the interesting thing host talked about is how to worship God. & one of the example used was like how river forged their path & go through some difficult terrain & pave the way & finally merges into ocean by shedding all their identity in process of finally merging into ocean. that's how we should be worshiping God. I know I still need to work on my ego & shed that. I realized I am blessed & can't take any credits for anything in life. Though I am so thankful for people, books & everything & everybody who has en lighted my life, for that I send big thanks & love to the universe. Asha
  15. achandra

    Ruth : I am so sorry for your loss, you both have been through lot together, & what I have seen from my blog window perspective you have done your best & you are amazing caregiver. Not every one is that lucky, so many marriages break apart when going gets tough. I am glad your bond strengthen, and you had enough supportive friends to get you through difficult phase of your life. I am so happy William got closure with his children. Knowing you & your journey was great privilege. Hope days ahead You create lot of happy memories for you. Asha