After hinking that Friday was such a day from "H"that it could only get better,I got upand enthusiasticly made some meals for the weekbut when my girlfriend cane to pick me up for shopping I coooolooked in my purse and realized all my cards wwwere missingI got so upset,I started to hyperventuilate and of course curse and get angry.I prayed the almifghty not give me more burdens!!.Anyway,My great friend just got me organized and we cancelled cars and went to the bank for new ones.I settled down
,I just got back from the support groupin my area.It was not what I expected.The group is very unorganized and super informal.The acoustics in the room were terrible.Several of us have hearing problems and it was impossible..Everyone talks at once.As a new perso, They sared me because one lady decided to tell me that.If I don't have movement in a part within the first 3 months forget it,.It won't come back.....from her experience.She was 10 years pos-stroke and can not move her arm still.Then so
I guess I wrote too sooon about how great mu husband has been.I think he is finally loosing it.We had a little tiff lst night about how insecure I was and I said yes,I am insecureHow did this just daawn on him?My body betrayed me in this horrible way.I can't do anything with ease anymore.My knee buckles without notice.I get tired without doiing hardly anythingHow does he wxpect me to feel??
My sister arrived and took me on a maeathon shopping spree.I got somr great stuffThen she ghelped sround the house.I had a good cry after dinner as the elevctricity was out and I started to reflect on what it would be like if this sort of thing happened when my husband had to go away on business and leave me alone.I confessed I hated my life and I wish the stroke had never happened and how miseraable I am.My sister was a little frightened.I guess I was not that depressed ever in my "other life"I
I think I had a break through.It was a thought that gave me a familiar"It's goiing to be alright feeling"and I have't had one of those in many months.I think it was when my friend was discussing how long it took me to walk somewhere and she said so what if it took you that long,you have the time.I had a nap yesterday and did not feell guilty that I wasn't doing something.I think I realized it was part of my recovery,part of my "job".I have to let my brain work itself out through sleep as well as
My cleaning lady is coming,My cleaning lady is coming,My cleaning lady is coming!!I can't wait!I have always want to employ one one when I was working but never got around ro it,Now I jusrtcannot do the things I used to and gave in and ask a friend who does it for a living.I try to help cause I'm still not used to someone elsedoing my work but I can't believe how trying it is just to do the little thingsI get exhausted,!!The family does not unders what must be done every week to keep the plac
So I went to church today.First time since thestroke hit.I was a little angry I guess and have lost a bit of faith but I had to usher so it was a good excuse to go.So many people were kind with there words butI still felt unattached.I wish my faith would return but the trauma is so deep I don't trust anything to do with life anymore.Is there any goodness?I want so much to be happy and believe in it.I went down the isle without my cane but got stuck at the stairs untilLyne brought my cane to me.
Today I hav e to start a diary of my activities and energy levels.My OOTwants me to monitor itas I do not allow myself to rest in the afternoon.I think sometimes I should but thenif I sit ir lie down,I thinkI should be doing somehing cause the more activeI am,The more stanibna I will build and the more muscle ,I so want to get back to the busy energy filled personI was. I just end up exhausted and sore after the day is finished,my mleg muscles aching.I need to find a ballance I guess.
Our Heakth Servicesorgani\ationCLSC ffor our District is still trying to decide if I qualify for Housecleaning help/Meanwhilr today I go under our sink cabinet to get something and the gaebage bag is fullIt hangs on a little holder om the door.I can
:Tantrum: My stroke was March 12,2006
I was healthy,happyand non of my docters expected it.I thought I would experience cancer long before ythis illnss.It caught me off gard and I have no defence because there is no frontline to fight,/I am battling alone in the dark.I have an amazing husband who is incredibly supportive,Great kids who try not to complainwhen asked to do so mucand a multitude of friends who have rallied to hold me up along the way.I am blessed but find it difficult to apprecia
