My sister had her second son today, and gave me the honor of naming it after me. Thomas Jay Burrell (my full name is Michael Thomas Crowe). It weighs 7lbs, 7ounces and is 21 inches long.
I'm making arrangements with the hospital staff to take Kathy to visit Stacy and Thomas tomorrow (the nursery is on the same floor as rehab). Kathy loves kids, and hopefully this will bring a smile to her face.
For Kimberly who kept asking to repeat the same story over and over in chat, and anyone else who's interested in some things locksmiths have to put up with, here are some of my locksmithing stories.
1) A woman had bought a suitcase padlock and had inserted it into the holes of her pierced genitals, and then lost the key. She came to me wanting me to unlock it. Thankfully it was a common brand that I had extra keys for, so I just sold her a key for it.
2) I was called to unlock a hou
A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver
I've decided I'm going to beat ChefDenny in posting a recipe.
Make sure nobody watches you make this, or they may not want to eat it. Also, I don't use measuring devices in my self-made recipies, so figure out the best you can on the measurements. Also, I generally make 3-4 servings at a time, so measurements given is for that size portion.
Ingredients:
Tortilla shells
2.5 eggs per serving, rounded up
shredded cheese, your choice of kind
lemon juice
ranch dressing
Basil
Today was the big day. Since Kathy had gone to the hospital 4 weeks ago, I haven't done any major housework beyond picking up a few things here and there. Today I broke down and did the housework and found out a few interesting facts.
1) Lettuce mix turns to liquid if left in the fridge too long.
2) Non-clumping kitty litter somehow clumps to the bottom of the litter pan.
3) I haven't been able to match my socks because my dog stole one of each pair and hid them under the couch.
4)
Ok, I can't stop myself tonight;
Top 10 people who should be beat with a wiffle ball bat.
10. People who want you pet their pet tralantuas.
9. The pet tranlantua
8. People who tell me "they can pick a lock faster on TV"
7. People who cut you off and then blow their horns at you like it was your fault
6. People who rev their motors and inch forward at red lights, then don't move when it turns green
5. People who blows their horn at you when you're trying to turn because you w
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surp
A short moral story I wrote when I was 20.
There was a man out fishing one day. It was a beautiful day and he was content. On one of his casts his line became tangled. The man tried to untangle his line, but could not. He would pull on one piece and then another, but the knot only became tighter and tighter.
The man grew agrivated and drew out his knife to cut the line. While opening his blade the man cut his fingure. While the man was sucking on the wound he saw a piece of the knot th
This is a story from way back that I still enjoy:
In one unknown village it was the tradition of the children to climb a nearby mountain before they were allowed to become braves. This act would occur once a year, with those who could not make the entire journey trying again, and the new ones to attempt the journey. They had to go until they had to return due to exhaution and bring a plant from the point in which they turned around to return.
On the morning of the start of the journey
Old jokes I still like
Why do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?
Why do they call it a pair of pants when it's only one?
If they call shorts shorts, why don't they call pants longs?
Why do they call it 7/11 when it's open 24 hours?
Why do they have killers but not killhims?
Why do they have victims, but not victhers?
If you saw a lawyer and an IRS auditor in the lake drowning would you
a) Go to lunch
b) Take a nap
And the answer to the age old
Might as well do my 100 things list.
1. I'm 6'4 1/2"
2. I don't know, and really don't want to know my weight
3. I have blue eyes with a yellow star burst centered on the pupils.
4. Every time I look at my eyes I'm reminded of the book Vurt
5. I'm half Irish and half Cherokee with some Apache thrown in for meaness
6. I got my sense of humor from the Cherokee side.
7. I got my physical build from my Cherokee side as well.
8. I have a bassett hound laying on my feet right now
