• entries
    9
  • comments
    35
  • views
    3,288

About this blog

Diary of a wandering mind

Entries in this blog

New Year's Resolutions

I haven't blogged in a long time. I lurk on this board in 'Guest' mode often, feeling neither qualified to offer advice nor humble enough to ask for it. I have been lucky in my recovery. I walk only a bit crooked. I have no 'visible' deficits. People who didn't know me pre-stroke probably think I'm just a slightly whacky old lady. I can no longer do math in my head, or multi-task, or flip my own mattress twice a year like I did before. These things are important to no one but me. Maybe this

cam1960

cam1960

True Independence day!

Another month, another long rambling blog on the crazy things wandering around in my head! Yesterday I reached my first milestone. I survived my first year post-stroke. I realize the statistics are vague, but making it through that first year, when my risk was highest gives me a little peace of mind . Independence Day has a whole new meaning this year. Not only have I survived, I finally feel as if I've become "me" again. I'm a little slower, but I can face the world on my own terms. Tomorro

cam1960

cam1960

11 months and counting

Eleven months ago, to the day, I had my "little episode" as I like to call it. You would think after all this self-analysis I could feel comfortable in my role as Stroke Survivor, but I'm still a work in progress. My blogging is sporadic, mostly when I've spent too much time in my own head and need to gain some perspective. (That's one of my favorite terms 'perspective' :blush: ) Everyone around me has accepted me the way I am now. My husband is patient with my tiredness, my kids are more

cam1960

cam1960

Caution! Long, whiny blog entry

Again into the abyss! It's been almost a month, I guess one meltdown per month is not too bad. Must be the hormones. I see now why pride is one of the mortal sins. Mine is literally killing me. I never realized how high on my horse I was until I began the descent. I always knew I was not a beautiful woman. I was not ambitious, talented or even athletic. But I was always just that little bit smarter than the average. I was in that "Top 2%" in all those achievement tests in school. I hugged my S

cam1960

cam1960

Stuck between two worlds

Over a month since my last blog entry, and I have to gain some perpective. This whole short term memory loss thing is such a pain! I feel like I'm stuck between two worlds. Am I recovered? Am I making progress? Am I disabled and doomed to a 'lesser existance'? Got me! Some days I feel like my old self. Then I get out of bed . My husband seems to think I am fine, just a bit tired. I swear sometimes he thinks I'm just making it up for sympathy. Some days I walk almost straight. others I s

cam1960

cam1960

Why I HATE cardiologists

Is it just me, or are all patients treated like road kill by their so-called specialists? My family doctor is not only a good doctor, she is a good person. I guess that's why she is in family practice. I never needed a 'specialist' before, and hope to god I won't again. My first meeting with my cardiologist was while I was still in Rehab. I thought it was a little odd my husband had to haul me out of the hospital in a wheelchair to go to his office. Couldn't he have stopped by the hospital?

cam1960

cam1960

My biggest 'deficit'

I'm beginning to realize that my biggest weakness really is in my head. It's not the pain in my knee. It's not even my inability to think as clearly as I used to. My biggest deficit is my own fear. I fear having an accident and losing my drivers license because I'm 'not quite right'. I fear my friends gradually drifting away over the years because I'm not as 'quick' as I used to be. More than anything, I fear being left alone. Now, keep in mind, I have been happily married most of my life

cam1960

cam1960

Blessed Indeed

Here I am again, trying to put into words all the weird stuff that goes through my mind just to see if it makes sense. I am a very lucky person. I know that most of the time. I have been married almost 29 years to my high school sweetheart. I have four smart, healthy kids who love me in spite of my weaknesses. I have a great big old drafty Victorian house that I wouldn't trade for anything practical. My 'business' involves shopping for antiques with my sister (and best bud) and then selling th

cam1960

cam1960

Baby Steps

Well, I've been lurking on this board for months seeking wisdom from all these good folks. I guess it's time to dive in and see if I can figure out this blog thing. I really miss being stable. Why is it that no one outside this little website has a clue? My husband tries. My kids scoff. My friends and relatives mean well. But how do I explain this to them? Six months ago I woke up totally paralyzed on my left side. My loved ones rushed to my side and were totally supportive. Miraculously I r

cam1960

cam1960