kanderson

bonnie, i know the memory thing, but its nice to look at old pictures to spark those memories. kids grow up faster these days it seems. you are right about living today, though. one never knows about tomorrow. the move sounds like a good thing for your family. good luck with your garden. sounds like you've been busy alright. take care and be well. kanderson

natasha, i agree with the other ladies, you need to have a doctor check you out. since this is not normal for you, all the more reason to be seen. i hope you get answers soon, it could be serious or nothing. good luck and best wishes, kanderson

katrina, i am so sorry for the pain and heartache, you have endured in your life. but it was not your fault. parents make mistakes just like everyone does. you need to get over these feelings you have now, it will only make you feel worse, the past is done, work on making a wonderful future for yourself. you have your whole life in front of you, make it mean something. as bonnie said, look for transportation in your area and a counselor to help you work through your anger and hostility. life is what we make it, so work hard on making it happy for you. i hope you feel better soon, and remember its not your fault. my best wishes to you, kanderson

i was up late last night and added a new entry to my blog, but somehow i lost it, so i will try again, the reason i was up late was that my son's dog had gotten into some ants, he then began to have an allergic reaction. face swelled up, labored breathing and not acting right. he was in my lap and started to vomit,ugh..., but we caught him in time, so he did it on the floor, then he decided to poop, right in front of everyone, we knew then something was wrong. they scooped him off to the emergency vet, we all were frantic at that point. these were the tiny ants, lethal none the less. we have desert landscaping,decorative rocks and ants love to make nests there. never had a problem before with them and my pets, but poor dawson did. he is a miniature long haired dauschaund(sp). i felt terrible and so did the kids. once at the vet, he was better but they gave him a benadryl shot and iv to rehydrate him, due to vomiting. they got home after midnight, so i sat here and started thinking about diane, veggie vampire, and was so depressed about her death. it's not fair, she wasn't that old and she was working so hard in recovery to beat her stroke. she was lucky to be alive in the first place. she was compassionate and caring for others and still had children to raise. then in a flash she is gone. how unfair and precious life is. i feel terrible for her family. this website i love for what it provides for people, but i hate why it was created due to strokes. she didn't complete her recovery journey. we all stood back and applauded her improvements. i have my memories of getting to know her and comfort in knowing she no longer has to fight so hard each day now. she is at peace and will be missed by us all. i know she is up there cheering all of us on to our recoveries. still doesn't seem fair. dawson is home and feeling better, thank goodness and we will remedy this problem so it doesn't happen again. in chat last night, we all toasted diane with denny's great drinks and had a few minutes of silence for her. i'm sure she appreciated it. to all of those affected by stroke and possible swallowing problems, please be extra careful. we all are family here and i don't like loosing family members. til next time on a happier note, i'm sure. kimmie

hi mcsaul, another warm welcome to you. i too have felt the way you do. i was 48 when my stroke hit, that was 5 yrs ago. my left hand/arm are nonfunctional. i am able to walk with a cane and afo. my husband now does all the things i used to. we have been married 37yrs, i nursed him through his heart attack, now its my turn. things happen for a reason, we may not know why at the time. try and focus on recovery to get better. i try and help my husband all i can, i can't do alot of what i did before but i can do some things and i always have hope that someday i will be able to do other things again. i cry easily at times also but my meds have made it alot better than it used to be. are you in therapy of any kind? that would help some i think. i'm sure your husband doesn't feel any anger for what he now has to do. maybe you could qualify for meals on wheels, if you have them in your area, to help relieve some of stress on him. i do hope you start to feel better soon. we all do understand. you are a survivor, that is a good thing. kanderson

hi john, i totally agree with what the others have said. i firmly believe no one understands a stroke unless they have had one themselves. deficits are inside and outside. it takes time to come to terms with that. our lives were turned upside down in an instant. my stroke was 5yrs ago, and i have good and bad days, i was not able to return to work so i spend my time here at this great website. my one true friend has been here for me for 25 years. i'm glad you are on meds to help with the depression. keep busy with something you enjoy. come here often and browse around, start a blog, visit us in chat. take care. welcome to our corner of the web. kanderson

hi louise, i am sorry you are having to deal with this. but i do know that it will get better. i have a suggestion for you, does the facility he is at offer a second seating at meal times. i used to work at SNFS and my facility had 2 seatings for meals, meaning certain residents came at one time( the more alert and functioning ones.) 2nd seating had (residents needing help with eating/or feeders, etc) othwise they ate in their rooms, which isn't good all of the time. they need to socialize with other residents. of coarse your husband is angry, we all were, a stroke turns your life upside down. be patient with him, he will come around. acceptance is the hardest part of a stroke. if you can handle taking him home for a visit as someone mentioned, that would be great. i was 48 when my stroke hit, so i do understand. please keep us posted on how he is doing. we all are here for you both. recovery is a long journey. have him work hard at therapy, so he can come home, that is his new goal to work towards. that was my motivation so i could go home from rehab. you both will be in my prayers and i wish you the best. kanderson

hi shirley, i am so proud of you, you have done a great job and come far on your recovery. fear is normal after stroke, we lost our confidence we had with our bodies in the control we had. at least that is how i feel anyway. i used a straight cane from day one after stroke, but i worry every time i am up using it, my affected leg has a mind of its own sometimes. but i do ok and so far have been able to correct myself should my left foot, not come down properly while walking. the cane has saved me many times from falling. i have some confidence with it and have even had therapy to wean me off of the cane, but i am not quite confident with that yet, FEAR..... i keep telling myself, i can do this to build up my confidence. my emotions are still messed up 5 yrs post stroke but have gotten better. keep working hard and do your exercises to build strength in your affected leg. when you are ready for the next step in therapy, you will know it. take care and i wish you the very best. you are a strong lady, just remember that. walk as much as you can around the house with your cane,it does help to get over the fear. i still use my wc for long distances and i don't do curbs, never gotten over that fear. hang in there, it will get better. kanderson

natasha, what a great spirit you have. i hope you continue to have great moments in the future. keep smiling and enjoying your life. kanderson

bill, i am so happy bud is doing so well. you are a great master, the pictures show how much he loves you. give him big hugs from all of us. to bad he isn't sharing the girls, hopefully someday soon that might change for both of you. take care and bud will be back to his old self real soon. good luck with the therapy. kimmie

phyllis, that sounds toooo good and easy! thanks for sharing the recipe. i will have to try and make it. kimmie

rich, that is great news, i wish you continued success. 12 floors is alot for a non-stroker, let alone a stroker. what a work out in itself. keep up the good work but be safe. you have more guts than i do for something like that, i would need the bannister for sure. kimmie

well, i have had some good news lately in 2 parts. i went in for a check-up and the doctor and i were so happy. my bp was down to 124/70 and i had lost 20lbs and my ticker was great. had blood work done that came back alittle high in a few areas, but doc said to keep doing whatever i was doing to get the weight down which in turn will help the other issues. i am walking more when its not to hot(live in az). i was so happy about the weight, i've hated gaining weight since my stroke. i think weight gain goes along with stroke. GO FIGURE. anyway something i am proud about. my newlywed kids asked if they could move back in with us for the summer, woohoo, yes,yes,yes you can, they live in gov't sudsidized apts, but they wouldn't renew their lease, made to much money, i guess and tonya my new daughter isn't going to teach summer school this year, so that will give them sometime to look for a house and save up some money. i couldn't be happier. i will now have company during the day, chances to get out more and help should i need it. they will also bring me more critters of a dog and 2 cats. the more the merrier. now my house will be full again and i am tickeled to death. i can't wait. they hate to have to move back home after being on their own for years, but hey, i'm glad we're here to help them out. maybe i can get back into the pool now. just wanted to share my happiness. kimmie

phyllis, i'm so glad you found your critter, what worry and concern they put us through. so glad you found her and all is well. we gotta love them though, maybe alittle hard of hearing now as mine is. they love to find that secret spot of theirs. kanderson

hi susan, sorry to hear about your dog and what he is going through. my pets are like my kids too, they mean everything to me. 12 teeth is alot to lose for a dog at one time. poor baby. hopefully the work you had done on him will resolve his issues. bacteria from dental problems can cause alot of problems so i have been told, we just had our dogs teeth cleaned too. and he is 12 yrs old. i pray gatsby is feeling better when you get home today. baby him for a few days and let him know everything is ok, plus his hormones have been affected from the nuturing. he just needs sometime to get back to his old self again. i wish you both the best. kanderson

yes bonnie, you sure have come a long way. something to be very proud of. you are a great example of recovery from a stroke and the hard work that it takes. a great inspiration to others here. you will get to the place you want to be at, so keep working at it. kimmie

thankyou ladies for your comments, i know it will pass, maybe i am to sensitive. people do need to be in your shoes, after a stroke, to know how you feel. i guess some people just don't have common sense anymore. thanks again, kimmie

hi kelly, i know how one can worry about something like this, i do not have a pfo but i feel it is something you need to do, to ease your fears, i wish you best and a speedy recovery. i am sure they will take good care of you. so care care and let us know how thins go. kimmie anderson

maybe its just me, i don't know but i have always been the type of person to listen to others, if they say they are going to do something that involves me in some way. i expect them to follow through with it. i do understand things happen to change their plans, but a phone call would be nice with their apologies. since my stroke 1-5-02, i don't have alot of excitement in my life, so when someone says they are going to come by, or call, etc. that gives me something to look forward to. i get so lonely, since hubby works all day, and my dog has died, she kept me sane during the day, with me being able to talk to her and pet her. i miss her terribly, she was so much company for me, my other pets (dog and 2 cats, sleep most of the day) my case in point is as i stated in my last blog entry that my 2nd mother was in town and was going to stop by, so i really was excited to see her, then boom, no visit or phone call. her daughter is the same way but we have been friends for over 25yrs, so i just accepted the way she was and loved her just the same. she was here for my son's wedding and was to come by the next day before she left town, but she didn't come by, it bothered me alot caused we really havent seen each other for 2yrs. she used to live here then she moved to colo. with her new husband, i can understand that. i talk to her on the phone from time to time, but its not the same, she has been there for me since my stroke. maybe i shouldn't be complaining, but things like this really upsets me, moreso post stroke, i guess they just don't realize what my days are like. i try to keep busing during the day, i have my routine, but i still get bored and lonely at times. i couldn't or wouldn't do that to anyone else, i do what i say i'm going to do, not to upset people, i always had pride in myself for that and others would comment on it to. i guess alot of us live in an isolated world now. like i said, maybe its just me and probably it is. i just wish people were more in tune to other peoples feelings. i know they have a life too, but just don't say it if your'e not going to do it, my hubby irrates me to in this area. yes i am on meds, but this has always ticked me off, more pronounced now since stroke, go figure. JUST VENTING. thanks for listening.

hi kerry, i am so sorry to hear about your situation, i can't believe your brother is not actively helping you out more. maybe he is having a hard time accepting what has happened. whatever decision you make concerning your mom, i'm sure it will be the right one for everyone involved. i hope your situation starts to look brighter soon, i too send you lots of hugs. hang in there and come here to post and let us know how you are doing. we are here for you. i wish you the best during this tough time. k.anderson

hi sarah, thx for your response. i do hope and pray, your case is decided in your favor, what is your case about, if you don't mind me asking? it was an experience thats for sure. stay strong and hopeful. i wish you the hest. kimmie

this week has been a happier one, my new daughter was asked to teach 6gr math next year, she has only been teaching for 2 yrs, and the parents and kids of her class 5th graders, are always saying what a great teacher she is and have done wonders with their children, that makes my heart sing, i am so glad my son found her. today was my hubby's birthday, we all went out to dinner and had a great time. don't know if i mentioned it but my son just got accepted into nursing school, i am so happy for him, what a difference he will make in that profession. he loves helping people and has a great heart. he will make a wonderful nurse, i'm not proud or nothing, huh. their lives together are starting out great, i couldn't be happier for them. can't wait for the grandkids. when its time, it will happen. i also got slapped with having to pay the jury costs from my recent malpractice suit. kick a dog when its down i guess, huh. also letter said if i dont pay the full amount of 3000.00 within 30 days, they will issue a summons. thankyou very much. sure let me go pick it off the money tree in the back yard, no problem!!! there is always something else, ready to bite you, right around the corner. oh well, what will be, will be i guess. i will handle it as i always do, so i can put it all behind me. it seems my new afo, is really helping my walking gait, i feel more confident with it i guess, thats a good thing. i hope everyone here at strokenet has a good week with great improvements. kimmie

after extensive conversation with my attys, i think its in my best interest, not to file an appeal and let sleeping dogs lie. the hardest part of all of this is knowing the dr. was wrong and hes getting away with it. i guess i should be thankful, i am still alive. it just hurts to know the profession i worked in for over 20 years let me down. i will never get my former self back, but i can get better than i am now, always room for improvement, i suppose. now to top things off, i have recently found out that a root canal i had awhile ago, part of an instument was left in the tooth canal, which has recentlycaused me a massive infection, that made my head the size of a basketball. i was at the point of cutting it off and shooting some hoops,lol. the pain was so bad, i haven't been able to sleep for days, but today the swelling has gone down some, i am on 2 antibiotics 4x a day and 2 pain meds that barely touched the pain. and the dentist that did the root canal is out of business, bankrupt, go figure. i guess its just the black cloud over my head. next week has to be better, right.

my neurologist put me on a new medication, a mild tranquilizer, so between that and the anti-depressant i am on, i do feel better and am smiling again. thank god for drs. that know what the hell they are doing. had to go this week and get my afo fixed, i was starting to walk on the side of my affected foot. not a good thing for someone who has trouble walking to begin with. my brace didn't even fit me correctly anymore, dah. no wonder i was walking wrong. so i will have a new one in a few days, a prettier one now with a design on it. i chose purple butterflies, for fashion sake. i am getting ready for the wedding and looking forward to our arizona march get together. i hope everyone has a good week. kimmie

my atty called me the other day and said they are going to file an appeal. so i am not sure on all the info why they want to do this, i am not sure i want to do this either, and have to go through this again. but, if it will get the wrong done, justified, then its worth it i guess. i am still in a fog, recouping from this past week, today is my baby boys birthday, so hopefully it will be a better day for me. he is getting married in less than 2 weeks, so i am looking forward to that and seeing my family. that will definitely bring smiles to me again. he is a great son. i am so blessed to have him, he is going to school to be a nurse, works part time for his dad and is always here if i need him. his wife to be is the daughter i never had. i love her like my own and her family is just as wonderful. this will be a great union of families. she is a teacher of 4th graders. her kids just love her. i can't wait for grand babies. they both will be great parents. i guess life does get better after a stroke. you don't think that when it first hits you though. this coming week has to be better than the last week. we'll see what the atty says. more on that later. i wish everyone here at strokenet a better week, especially the newbies and their families. kimmie