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feeling sorry for myself today

I am alive! I lived through 3 strokes. Found out I have cns vasculitis through a brain biopsy. My kids dont call me or see how I am doing. I suffer from depression. I have daily headaches, pain in my hips and I am just having a bad day. I hate it. I am blessed to be alive, but I am miserable.

gramma

gramma

bad day yesterday

Most days are the same, headaches and always a bit tired, but yesterday was really bad. I ran out of my night time med Ziprexa. The night that I did not have it I had a horrible sleep and ended up being so very tired and grumpy yesterday. Just happy I have my med now.

gramma

gramma

man!!

Hubby and i had a huge argement tonight. I think and wish I could just pack up and move back to texas. Just a bit about what happened--since i had my strokes, when i have to urinate, i have to urinate!!!! I have cats, which my husband does not like. The cats sometimes for whatever reason like to drink from the toilet. husband has started putting the lid down and shutting the door to the bathroom. If he was just doing one of those things it would not be so bad, but he is shutting the door a

gramma

gramma

egads

dont know if it is my vasculitis or i am just in a bad mood today. hubby has really gotten on my nerves today. he really needs to get out of my hair and get a job. i think it is that we are always together, i get no break from him. i wish i could get a job but i cant because of my vasculitis, my dr says i cant work anymore. and the one i am married to says we need more money, but he wont get a damned job. it is good that he gets retirement and i have my money from disability, but he should

gramma

gramma

valentines day

Having a good valentines day. Christy came by and she is coming back by after she goes to the movies with yvette. Rene gave me a beautiful bracelet for valentines day. I love it. It saays I love you and has hearts and is gold. Christy gave me a coffee mug that has hearts on it and a frog stuffed animal that says Be Mine on it. She is coming back after the movie. I gave her a card, I hope she likes it. I forgot to send Amys card to her so she will get it late. Talked to my mom. Started

gramma

gramma

dang it

Rene, hubby, has been going through my stuff. I dont know if he is trying to find my money or what, but my stuff has been moved and I can tell he has gone trough my things. I have asked him about and of course he told me he does not, but I have had money missing for the past 4 months. I dont get much money for ssi but he should not be stealing from me, just ask if he needs money. And dont go through my stuff. He keeps going through my purses, I have several. Even though he denide it, I kno

gramma

gramma

had to go back to er yesterday

Had another migrain. at least it was not another stroke. they did a cat scan to rule out a stroke. have me iv pain meds. I am already on a daily pill for migrains but I guess it isnt working.

gramma

gramma

miss my boy

I guess my jack is still sick, he didnt come to his daddies house this week. I miss him. I got him some jammies from the store I hope he likes them, I love spoiling my baby. I hope he is feeling better to come to his daddies hoouse this week.

gramma

gramma

sucks to be me

I guess I am having a flare of my vasculitis because I am having such bad headaches the past few days, nothing has helped, I keeping popping pills. Christy came by today and is coming by this evening with food and maybe if my headache isnt too bad I will have a glass of wine to toast the new year. The dumb ass I am married to made me mad last night with the way he treated my son when he and my grandson came over for dinner last night. If things keep up like this I dont think we will make it t

gramma

gramma

what a day

not much going on, kinda bored. watcing the bronkos game and listening to my music. besides that I have been doing word search today, very, very bored!!!!

gramma

gramma

had an awesome Christmas

Had a wonderful christmas with the kids and Jack. I got a call last night from Amy, she loved her necklace I sent her. Christy brought over some food from their dinner. It was a wonderful day. Got to talk to my mom, sister and Amy. Christy, Yvette, Joey, Jack and Zachery came over for their presents. It was a wonderful day. I loved all the presents my mom sent me.

gramma

gramma

went to the dentest yesterday

I was there for 5 hours for a dang root canal!!!!!!!!!!! At least they let me go to the bathroom one time. I was sooooooo tired and hungry when we got out of there it was unreal.

gramma

gramma

all shopping done

Well, I finally got all my chistmas shopping done. yay :ChristmasTree: Woke up with one of my killer headaches today, but i had a cup of coffee so I hope it is taken care of, if not I will have to take a pill. Yep, all my shopping is done, even for zachery because I found out he would coming over with my son so I got him a couple of presents so he wouldnt feel left out when my jack opens his presents. I love christmas!! :santasmiley: :reigndeer:

gramma

gramma

My 44th birthday party

Went out to dinner with the kids and my precious Jack to Red Lobster with Rene. My mom sent me a really nice necklace with my birthstones in it with a locket setting and little Jack gave me a mouse pad with his picture from his football team, I love it. We had a really nice time. My Mom called me, my aunt called me but my youngest still hasnt called me. guess she forget about my birthday, that is ok. Yvette made me a cake.

gramma

gramma

Had a bad migrain yesterday

Had the aura and nausa with it. My dinner didnt sit in my stomach for long. At least my dr gave me meds for the upset stomach, but man did I end up with a killer headache. I hate migrains. I knew I was going to get the dang thing when I got the aura, so I took a pain pill and i took the nausa pill, but shortly after I layed down I got sick to my stomach all over my bed. had no time to make it to the bath room. On a really bad note my cousins girlfriend past away yesterday. I am worried ab

gramma

gramma

had a scare yesterday

Before supper last night I got off of the recliner and I got really dizzy and I got a super bad headache. I was seeing double and I ahd to get help to get to my bedroom. I thought I was having another stroke. I layed down for a bit but it didnt help. My husband took me to the er. the did a cat scan and all the usual test for stroke. thankfully it wasnt another stroke, the dr said it was a migrain which I have suffered from for years. He suggested a med I can take so I am going to ask my d

gramma

gramma

we have a new friend

We have a squarel friend that we feed, we call him charlee. He might be a she. We give it walnuts every day and it is so cute to see it scamper up to the pile of wood and get its walnuts. I think it is so cute. There is as an imposter charlie that will come up to the glass door but the real charlie will only go up to the pile of wood. My husband thinks charlie might actualy be a mommy. and it might be her two babies that come up and get food also. It is so cute when they rest on the rocks

gramma

gramma

sad days

Having a hard time finding a house to rent here in pueblo. Things are getting hard around the house. I havent seen jack in two weeks. My headaches are better but my heart ache is growing stronger. thiings between me and me and my son dont look so good. we just need our own place.

gramma

gramma

I am so happy

:cloud9: I am so happy here in colorado. My daughter comes to see me every day and of course I see my son every day since I live with him. The weather is so beautiful here. I went today to see some of my friends at my job I had before my stroke , I have to wait until monday to see most of them. it was good to see them. i can't wait to see my best friend. my son has her number. he is going to give it to me. he said she came to see me when is had my stroke and brain surgery, of course i

gramma

gramma

I am now in colorado

:cloud9:   We made the trip staight through with only potty and food breaks and we are done. I am soooooooooooooo happy to be here. We are taking stuff to storage that we dont need right now. It was so good to see my son and daughter. I cant wait to see my grandson next week

gramma

gramma

Leaving for colorado tomorrow

had lunch with my youngest daughter today, I am going to miss her soooooooooo much. but she is going to come and see me in december next year, that is a long time to wait, but we can write and call each other in the mean time. We are leaving for colorado tomorrow. cant wait to get there. my headaches wont be so bad. i will still get them but not near as bad.

gramma

gramma

Yesterday

Was awesome. There was about eight of us there. My old boss was there, it was soooo good to see him and every one else. we took pics. My daughter came also. It was good to see her, I am soo happy that she came. All in all it was such a great day. I am so happy we got together.

gramma

gramma

yay

today is the get together with my hobby lobby x co workers and I am so very excited. my daugter is going also. ozzy is doing so much better. he is taking his med so well for me and eating well and he has gained weight. I know he will have a good checkup at his next appt.

gramma

gramma

Yay

Amy finally called me. She said she has been having problems with her phone, getting calls texts and so forth. She got a new job. So things a going well for her again. She said she will take a trip to see me when I move to colorado. She is going to dinner with the gang and that makes me happy, these people watched her grow up pretty much. And they will be shocked at how much she has changed over the years.

gramma

gramma