kimmer2003's Blog

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DAILY LIFE POST STROKE

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TALKIN' TO MAMA

MOTHER FREAKS IF I DON'T CALL HER THE ***SECOND*** AFTER SHE LEAVES A MESSAGE. :yucky:     IF I DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE OR CALL HER BACK, SHE GETS WORRIED, SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS, THE DIFFERENCE NOW IS THAT I LIVE 500 MILES AWAY AND SHE CAN'T DRIVE OVER, LET HERSELF IN AND YELL OUT "KKKKIIIIMMMMM ARE YOU OK?????!!!!!!!!!!!". THIS ONLY WORSENNED AFTER THE STROKE.     I HAVE TOLD HER OVER AND OVER AND OVER, 1) I HAVE THREE "CLEAR" EEG'S THAT SAY THERE APPEARS TO BE NO FURTHER EVI

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FAMILY

SOME PEOPLE MAY THINK THAT FAMILIES ARE NO LONGER "IN VOGUE", OR THAT THEY DON'T NEED "A FAMILY". I DISAGREE.       I CAN UNDERSTAND IF SOMEONE GREW UP IN AN ABUSIVE OR HOSTILE NON NURTURING ENVIRONMENT THAT THEY MIGHT NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH ***THAT** FAMILY, BUT I THINK WE ALL NEED A SUPPORT SYSTEM IN OUR LIVES. I CAN'T THINK OF THE AUTHOR'S NAME ( HELP JEAN) BUT THAT SEVERELY ABUSED MAN WHO WROTE THAT BOOK " A BOY CALLED IT" WHO WAS ROUTINELY CHAINED TO A TOILET, STARVED, BEATEN

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SLEEP WALK AND TALK

I HAVE BEEN A SLEEP WALKER AND TALKER MY WHOLE LIFE. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO COOK MEALS AND CLEAN THE HOUSE, CARRIED ON COMPLETE CONVERSATIONS, EATEN, GONE TO THE BATHROOM IN THE CLOSET, YOU NAME IT I HAVE DONE IT. GRANTED, THE "MEALS" CONSISTED OF LIKE DUMPING AN ENTIRE FROZEN CHICKEN, PAPER STILL ON, IN A FRYING PAN. CLEANING THE HOUSE CONSISTED OF TURNING ON THE VACUUM( AND LEAVING IT ON) BUT I STILL TRIED. :big_grin:         I RELY ON WHAT OTHERS TELL ME I DO OR SAY BECAUSE I NEVER HAVE

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ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZBORING!!!!!!

I AM BORED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP. SO, I FIGURED IT WAS ONLY NATURAL TO BLOG ABOUT BORING THINGS. MY TOP 25 LIST. :Tantrum:       1) WAITING IN LINE FOR ***ANYTHING******   2) WAITING FOR A LIGHT TO CHANGE   3) USING THE RESTROOM   4) GOLF   5) SOAP OPERAS   6) ROMANCE NOVELS   7) GETTING MY HAIR OR NAILS DONE   8) GETTING MY TEETH CLEANED   9) HYPOCHONDRIACS   10) TALK SHOWS   11) WASHING ( OR DRYING) ( OR IRONING) CLOTHES, (LAUNDRY IN GENERAL)

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NO WONDER

:juggle: NO WONDER I AIN'T HUNGRY. I MADE SOME POST SOMEWHERE ABOUT NEVER BEING HUNGRY LATELY AND SEVERAL MEMBERS WERE AFRAID MY OLD EATING DISORDER MIGHT HAVE BEEN RE-IGNITED. HECK, I GOT WORRIED MYSELF. THEN TODAY, MOTHER CALLED AND SAID" DID YOU ***EVER**** GO GET THAT CHECK UP LIKE YOU WERE **SUPPOSED** TO BY APRIL 5TH?. YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD GO TO A HOSPITAL UP THERE IN KENTUCKY. REMEMBER?" I HAD'NT A CLUE. I SAID" WHAT TEST?". MOTHER WAS LIVID. SHE SAYS "SURELY TO GOD YOUR MEMORY CAN'T B

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HIGH ANXIETY

YESTERDAY WAS A "NIGHTMARE".   I HAD ALL KINDS OF PLANS ON MY OFF DAY. CLEAN, GO TO THE GROCERY STORE, COOK FOR UPCOMING MEALS AND FREEZE THEM IN PORTIONS SO I DON'T HAVE TO COOK WHEN I DON'T WANT TO, GET MY NAILS DONE, STUDY SOME FOR SOME STUPID MENU TEST FOR MY NEW JOB, WASH CLOTHES. WELL, I PIDDLE PADDLED AROUND, SLEPT LATE, GOT ONLINE FOR AWHILE, THEN WENT BACK TO SLEEP BEFORE I HAD TO GO TO THE B-FRIEND'S PARENTS FOR THE "FEAST". ANYWAY, I DIDN'T GET HOME TILL NEARLY 9PM. I WAS SO SO

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AFRAID OF DISABLED PEOPLE?????????????????????

SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE MISSED MY BLOG THAT I AM WAITING ON THE STATE OF KENTUCKY TO "GRANT" ME MY REAL ESTATE LICENSE****WHICH I SO RICHLY DESERVE*******, BUT UNTIL THEN I GOT A JOB AS A WAITRESS. I HAVEN'T WORKED IN THE FOOD SERVICE INDUSTRY IN ABOUT TEN YEARS, BUT IT IS ALL COMING BACK TO ME, ***ALL OF IT******     I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT WHEN I LEFT THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS AS A GENERAL MANAGER, THERE WERE MANY SERVERS WHO DIDN'T.......****WOULDN'T***** WAIT ON "HANDICAPPED PEOPLE" IT MADE TH

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I AM HOMESICK

I ONLY MOVED UP TO KENTUCKY FROM ALABAMA ABOUT A MONTH AGO.         I WANT TO BE HERE VERY MUCH. I HAVE LIVED HERE BRIEFLY IN THE 80"S, AND ONCE IN ATLANTA FOR A YEAR SINCE I HAVE BEEN AN ADULT. BEYOND THAT, I HAVE LIVED WITHIN A MILE OF MY PARENTS NOW FOR OVER 15 YEARS. I WORKED WITH MY DADDY FOR 7 YEARS. ******I MISS MY MOTHER AND DADDY************** I AM 43 YEARS OLD AND FEEL LIKE A CHILD.       I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO HOMESICK I AM CRYING. I MISS THE FAMILIAR. I MISS MY

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GOTTA FESS UP

OK,   I "TRIED" TO "MAINSTREAM" WHEN I MOVED FROM ALABAMA TO KENTUCKY AND LIE TO MY NEW EMPLOYER ABOUT MY "CONDITION". I REALLY THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD KNOW. GUESS WHAT, THEY DO DO DO NOTICE AND HAVE WAY WRONG IMPRESSIONS.     I DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. I HAVE A NON STROKE RELATED PANCREATIC CONDITION, BASICALLY REALLY LOW BLOOD SUGAR, WHICH WHEN IT GETS REAL LOW, MAKES MY BREATH SMELL KINDA "FRUITY". ALSO I HAVE NEUROLOGICAL TREMORS. I TAKE A MED FOR THIS, BUT WHEN I "OVER DO", WHICH I H

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MY NEW LIFE UP NORTH

I ****KNOW****, KENTUCKY AIN'T EXACTLY "UP NORTH", BUT IS IS A SPLIT STATE REGARDING YANKS AND CONFEDERATES. COMPARED TO ALABAMA, IT **IS** "UP NORTH. LOL LOL.       HERE'S WHAT I LIKE BETTER ABOUT IT THAN ALABAMA.     1) IT'S A TOURIST AREA, LOTS OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE TO MEET FROM ALL OVER   2) ITS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH COOLER ( TEMP WISE)   3) YOU CAN BE IN LINE AT A GROCERY STORE, AND WHEN THEY ASK IF YOU HAVE A "REWARDS CARD, AKA DISCOUNT CARD" AND YOU SAY, "NO, I AM NOT

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MY NEW LIFE

I HAVE HAD SUCH A *****MISERABLE***** ELEVEN YEAR MARRIAGE THAT I ENDED MONTHS AGO, I AM JUST GETTING USED TO THE FACT THAT THERE ACTUALLY **IS** SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE. I WILL BE MARRIED SOON ( AGAIN) AND THIS MAN DOES HIS BEST TO GET ME ANYTHING I WANT OR NEED. HE REALLY CARES. I HAVE BEEN SO SO SO NOT USED TO THAT FOR SO LONG THAT IT IS ALIEN TO ME. IT FEELS WEIRD.       I AM "ALMOST" LEARY. HOWEVER I HAVE KNOWN HIM OVER A YEAR( LONG FOR ME, LOL) AND HE IS EXACTLY WHO HE PROCLAIMS TO BE,

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I CAN'T SAY SWEETIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AT MY NEW RESTAURANT JOB, ONE OF THE RULES IN THE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK IS THIS: YOU CAN NOT CALL THE CUSTOMERS THE FOLLOWING       1) SWEETIE   2) HUN   3) HONEY   4) DARLIN   5) GUYS   GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM IN SOUTHERN KENTUCKY FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bouncing_off_wall: WE CAN'T SAY "HEY" EITHER.   I KNOW I AM FROM ALABAMA AND THAT IS PART OF MY **********LANGUAGE********************* FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. BUT ONE WOULD THINK THAT SOUTHE

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STARTING OVER

WOW. THIS "STARTING OVER" IS JUST STARTING TO HIT HOME. :bop: I STROKED 12-03, AND WAS MARRIED TO THE MEANEST MOST CALLOUS LETCH ON THE PLANET. AFTER 11 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, I FINALLY CUT HIM LOOSE, IRONICALLY, OUR DIVORCE WAS SIGEND ON THE SECOND ANNIVERSARY OF THE STROKE. I HATE TO CALL IT "MY STROKE" BECAUSE THAT'S LIKE SAYING IT IS "ALL MINE", LIKE IT'S A FRIEND OR SOMETHING.     ANYWAY, I SOLD MY HOUSE, QUIT MY JOB, AND MOVED 500 MILES AWAY TO BE WITH MY NEW LOVE. WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS

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MY NEW MAN

OK. I AM LIKE LIZ TAYLOR. I WANNA MAN, AND I MARRY HIM RATHER THAN "LIVE IN SIN" LOL LOL LOL .   I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 3 TIMES, ( 4 COUNTING AN ANULLMENT), AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I HAVE A TWENTY NINE YEAR OLD WHO WANTS TO TIE THE KNOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM 43. MY BEST FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL ( WHO HAS NEVER BEEN MARRIED) SAYS, " GOOD GOD KIM, EVERYONE YOU DATE ASKS YOU TO MARRY THEM".....LOL LOL LOL .         WHO KNOWS WHY. I AIN'T THAT PRETTY OR NICE, I GUESS I AM JUST NOT AS BAD AS THE

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LOVING PEOPLE

I AM 43 YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN TOLD BY FRIENDS I AM NAIVE' AND GULLIBLE. I THINK IT IS TRUE BECAUSE OF MY UPBRINGING DOWN IN THE SOUTH. I ALWAYS HAVE BELIEVED ( AND STILL DO, MEANIES CAN'T SHAKE ME) THAT THERE IS GOOD IN ALL PEOPLE.     SOMETIMES A PERSON REACHES OUT FOR HELP, MUCH LIKE I DID WITH THIS SITE. THEN, FOR WHATEVER REASON, USUALLY BECAUSE THEY ARE HURT EMOTIONALLY, THEY JUST LEAVE. BUT, THEY MISS THE COMRADARIE AND FRIENDSHIP AND COME BACK AND ARE AFRAID THEY WILL BE JUDGED.

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SNOW SNOW SNOW AND MORE SNOW

I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE!!!!! I HAVE SEEN SNOW THREE TIMES IN MY LIFE. ONCE AS A CHILD AND I ONLY KNOW THAT FROM PICTURES, ONCE IN 1977 ( SCHOOL WAS OUT FOR A WEEK), AND A FREAK SNOW IN 1993. IT *****DOES NOT SNOW IN ALABAMA***** , FOR THE MOST PART. WHEN IT DOES, *****EVERYTHING SHUTS DOWN. LOL LOL.       I HAVE BEEN IN KENTUCKY LESS THAN A MONTH AND HAVE ALREADY SEEN 3 SNOWS. IT FREAKS ME OUT. THE *****WORST****** WAS A "SUDDEN" UNEXPECTED ONE AND GUESS WHERE I WAS WHEN IT HAPPENED? 20 M

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I AM NOT A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK. LET ME EXPLAIN. I AM NOT AND NEVER HAVE BEEN A MAN. HOWEVER, THE STATE OF KENTUCKY (WHERE I RECENTLY MOVED) PUT ME DOWN ON MY DRIVER'S LICENSE AS A MALE......******************* I DIDN'T NOTICE IT, BUT THE SS OFFICE DID AND WANTS PROOF I AM A WOMAN.     OK, BEING A MAN WOULD BE AN ASSET IN MY REAL ESTATE BUSINESS, BUT NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE IT. I AM 5 FT 2 ( BARELY) 135 POUNDS AND DO *******NOT LOOK LIKE A MAN**********************     HOMELAND SECURITY IS THEIR EXCUSE NOW THAT I

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FREEDOM

I WAS LISTENING TO A JANIS JOPLIN CD AND A SONG BY KRIS KRISTOPHERSON CAME ON " ME AND BOBBY MCGHEE". OTHER THAN PICTURING THEM ALL IN 1960'S VANS WITH PAINTED FLOWERS LOLLYGAGGING ACROSS COUNTRY DOING ONLY THE GOOD LORD KNOWS WHAT, ONE LINE IN THE LYRICS TO THAT SONG MADE SOME SENSE TO ME PERSONALLY.   "FREEDOM'S JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE...." I FEEL THAT WAY SOMEIMES. I HAVE FREEDOM IN SO MANY WAYS POST STROKE, BUT AT WHAT PRICE? LIFE AND MY VIEWS ON IT HAVE CHANGED **

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OK, ANOTHER SONG

WHO KNOWS WHY I AM LISTENING TO MUSIC AGAIN. I DIDN'T FOR TWO YEARS ( POST STROKE) TILL NOW THE LAST FEW MONTHS. HERE'S ONE I HAVE NEVER EVER FIGURED OUT THE MEANING. IT IS "HOTEL CALIFORNIA". JEAN WILL HAVE TO NAME THE AUTHOR BECAUSE IT IS BEYOND MY MEMORY. I AM SURE I COULD SIGN OUT, LOOK IT UP ON THE NET, BUT LET'S FACE IT *** I AM TOO LAZY AT THIS MOMENT**** LOL     THE MAIN PART OF THE LYRICS WHICH INTRIGUE ME ARE ....." YOU CAN CHECK OUT ANYTIME YOU LIKE, BUT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE....

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